A Mix of Punch and Coffee
by mnkm
Summary: A collection of one-shots featuring various parts of the cast of the Super Smash Brothers. / Chapter 25: Mr. Game & Watch goes on a rampage in his Octopus form for unknown reasons, as midnight struck. It's time for an anticlimactic battle to calm him down.
1. Christmas Special 2016

**1: Christmas Special 2016**

Cheers in the night sky. Yellow glows from bright stars. Sensational melodies spreading.

A night of Christmas couldn't possibly bring such excitement to anyone, or so someone thought, but they immediately took back their words as they continued dancing with their friends, partying with their family, cheering with their loved ones.

And within the huge Smash mansion itself, their residents did not think otherwise.

What a lovely day today was, to celebrate Christmas.

To celebrate the birth of that Christian guy.

To celebrate Santa getting some exercise.

Or perhaps... to celebrate the day of awesomeness that just couldn't be summed up in any words? It was like... the Halloween of winter, really.

But not everyone was partying, of course. Some people decided to just feast or sit and watch and chat.

Mr. Game & Watch had other plans, however. Dressed in a Santa Claus suit, with a hat and a bag, a quiet snicker (of beeps) escaped his lips as he sneaked on the ledge of the second floor. He glanced inside and felt relieved that his fellow residents were still in the partying room.

Quietly, he released some Shadow Bugs and morphed his arm to stretch slightly longer. He slipped his now-long flat arm through the gaps of the window and unlocked it.

Now, for the surprise...

While almost everyone had been laughing with joy, suddenly the window opened with a loud bang. The songs continued, but everyone stopped to see what the commotion was. Mr. Game & Watch, in his Santa Claus suit, jumped into the partying room and raised his present bag. " _(GUESS WHO'S HEEEEERE!?)_ " he exclaimed, or so he perceived, but it simply came out as " ** _BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEP!?_** " to everyone else.

The kids and a few of the ladies of the mansion brightened. "It's Santa Game & Wa-"

"It's a robber!" someone screamed louder, and the voice came from the great mighty King Dedede.

Shocked, Mr. Game & Watch gasped with a perplexed expression.

Before anyone could correct the slightly stupid penguin king, Wario pointed to the Santa-themed Smasher. "Get him!" he exclaimed.

Most Smashers didn't follow his command, however, as they recognized Mr. Game & Watch easily. However...

"Right on it!" Bowser lunged towards the flat-bodied Smasher. Due to his training with Wii Fit Trainer, he now stands straighter and moves a lot faster and swifter now. His claws spread in an attempt to scratch the 'intruder', but Mr. Game & Watch screamed a string of beeps and jumped out of the way, the Koopa King falling through the window. "Son of a Peeeaaaaccchh!" the reptile screamed as he drowned in the pile of snow gathered in the mansion's courtyard.

"Excuse me!" Peach screamed at the direction of the window Bowser fell out, her face flushed red.

The flat-man thought he was safe, but then Ganondorf seemed to appear out of nowhere. "Got'cha!" the Dark Lord exclaimed as he sped his way around the beeping Smasher. Before Mr. Game & Watch could react, the villain wrapped his arms around Mr. Game & Watch's waist tightly. "Face my evil German Suplex!" he roared, doing just that on the Santa Smasher... but as their backs were facing the window, they ended up both falling outside the mansion and into the courtyard instead. "Shiiiiiit!"

The other Smashers watched with a bored expression, the unfolded events having been really wild and stupid.

Then they heard a splatter. "My spike!" Bowser screamed from outside. "It's been dirtied!"

"Screw your spike, my body!" Ganondorf's voice followed. "Doctor Mario! Help, I've been stabbed- urgghh-" and then he went quiet.

Sighing, Dedede picked up the fallen present bag that Mr. Game & Watch had dropped, closed the windows, and cheered. "Let's continue the Christmas party, guys!" he exclaimed. Everyone cheered, and as the party resumed, Dedede secretly made his way out the room with the present bag.

What a crooked penguin.


	2. Happy Tea Time I

**2: Happy Tea Time I**

The Smash Mansion had many different individuals, so it was not a surprise that some has their own customs that others were not used to.

Or traditions. Or rituals. Or sacrifices. But that last one didn't really matter since it was just one of the villains' many shenanigans.

But there was one tradition that few in the mansion followed.

The Happy Tea Time, where the women of the Smash Mansion and anyone else who wanted to join gather around the round table within the cafeteria. The purpose of this tradition, made by Peach herself, was to stay relaxed, enjoy tea, and... discuss about anything, really. But in a calm manner, otherwise one would get their ass whooped by the mighty princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Peach sat down, taking out a random cup of coffee from hammerspace. For some reason, the tea had already been perfected, but nobody cared about that.

"Today we are gathered here for the monthly Happy Tea Time to enjoy some relaxation and discuss any topic of choice."

Bowser raised his hand.

"In a civilized manner."

He lowered his hand.

Sighing, the pink princess looked around. The members of her monthly Happy Team Time consisted of mostly Smashers, but also minor trophy characters and Assist Trophies. Not that there were many members anyways. First of all, regarding Smashers, Bowser wanted to stay and flirt with Peach so he joined it (and it _suuuuucks_ , in his opinion). Captain Falcon was also there, for reasons nobody knew, but he sure as hell was lousy and not 'calm' at all. Donkey Kong and Doctor Mario also participated from time to time, this time being one of those times. Greninja and Nana of the Ice Climbers are included, and Jigglypuff and Lucario too. Palutena, Rosalina, and Wii Fit Trainer as well.

As for non-Smashers, there were Ashley from Wario's universe, and... Y, the female Pokemon Trainer from the XY series. Oh, and a white Pikmin. Why were they even here? Who knows. But hey, that's actually quite a lot of people... sort of. In a way, yeah.

Peach took a sip from her tea, as did everyone else. Then she asked, "First of, do we have anyone wanting to vent their complaints?"

Bowser raised his hand.

"In a civilized manner?"

He lowered his hand.

She sighed and proceeded to look around.

Captain Falcon banged his hands on the table. "I do!" He clutched his fist to show pure rage. "Why is it that there's a Happy Tea Time nonsense, but not a Great Punch Time!?" he asked. "Why tea!? Why not punch!? Punches are great!" He pointed the Peach. "You are behind this madness, I'm sure of it! This is a democracy! This is, uh, a republic! Um, congress, uh... Falcon Punch!" he screamed, but didn't actually do anything.

Everyone stared at him, except Peach who just sighed. "Donkey Kong, please throw him out the window."

"Huh?"

Few seconds later, there was one less member. Bowser gulped, sweat pouring from his head.

Next, Doctor Mario raised his head. "Yes, Doctor Mario?" Peach said with a smile, encouraging him to start talking.

"I may or may not start being a bit... concerned about the fate of us," he said solemnly. "This-a mansion... no offense, but-a this mansion is-a filled with really challenged people, and-a they keep getting themselves into-a random injuries that shouldn't even let them-a live." Doctor Mario sighed, drooping down on his chair. "For example, just-a yesterday, I had to treat Ganon's hole made by-a Bowser's spike!" Bowser snickered. "And it pierced through his-a heart, but he was fine, just damaged. Sometimes I-a wonder why there aren't more-a doctors around here..."

Rosalina chuckled. "Don't let that get you down, Doctor." She petted a Luma napping on her lap. "My Lumas and I think you're doing a really wonderful job as our doctor. Even a few of my Lumas are inpired and wants to be a doctor like you!"

"How does that work?" Jigglypuff asked.

"It'll work out somehow."

Doctor Mario smiled. "Thank you, Rosalina."

Peach nodded in agreement to the space princess. "I understand how hard it must be to have to treat every one of us repeatedly, so you have all of our thanks for that, Doctor Mario."

"Thank you, Peach."

Palutena giggled. "I find it amusing how whenever Pit talks about you or Mario, he thinks about whether you two are the same person though."

"Hahaha, I-a get that a lot," Doctor Mario replied.

"Even I still wonder about that!" Bowser laughed.

Suddenly, Olimar pushed the doors open. "Doctor Mario, hurry! We need your help!" Everyone stared. "Captain Falcon fell out the mansion into the courtyard and tried to jump back up to the room, but didn't make it and accidentally crashed through the window to Samus' room while she was changing, and now has a lamp shoved up his, um, backdoor."

Sighing, Doctor Mario got up. "All in a day's work, I suppose. Donkey Kong, come help me carry him."

The ape nodded and got up, saluting the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and following the doctor out the room.

"There the doctor goes, I suppose," Palutena said as she took another sip from her own cup of tea.

"Indeed. Do we have any other topics we wish to talk about?" Peach asked.

Nana excitedly raised her hand. Seeing Peach give approval, she snickered. "How about we talk about romance?"

"R-romance?" Rosalina squeaked. "That's... haha, well, I..." she looked away, turning slightly red.

Peach chuckled. "Aw, do you have anyone you're interested in, Rossie?" she asked with a sly grin.

The blonde comet princess shook her head rapidly. "N-nnot yet, I guess... hehe... he."

Almost all the girls on the table went 'aawww' at the blonde, prompting her to blush harder.

"Ooh, me! Me!" Nana raised her hand again, getting people's attention. "I think Toon Link's kinda cute!" The others did another 'aawww'. "But then again, I don't think anyone can beat my Popo! Hahaha."

"...wait, you two aren't siblings?" Bowser asked, an eyebrow raised.

Nana shook her head. "Well, not literally. I mean, we _are_... but like, not blood-related."

"Oohh... yowzers."

"What about you, Ashley?" Nana asked the witch girl, who flinched and started to blush. The pink Ice Climber had been hanging out with the red-robed magician from time to time, seeing her as a good friend and inviting her to hang out with the Nana's group many times. "Anyone you fancy? Hmm?"

Ashley looked away, turning almost as red as her robe. "W-well... uh... shut up!" she exclaimed. "I'll curse you!"

"Hahaha, yikes! Scaaaryyy... hihi." Teasing the witch girl, Nana got up and ran around the table while Ashley chased her, turning redder every second.

"Now, now, don't make a ruckus during Happy Tea Time, kids..." Peach told them, although giggling a bit. "Ashley dear, it's natural to be interested in someone during life. No need to tell us if you don't want to, okay sweetie?"

"G-grrr..." the witch girl growled, before pouting and sitting back down. She took deep breaths to calm herself, and slowly returned to her natural face color.

Jigglypuff bounced. "As for me, well... I don't know. Romance isn't really my thing." She took out her mic. "But if it's singing tho-"

"Jigglypuff no!" Y the female Pokemon Trainer, and Lucario both jumped the Balloon Pokemon.

"B-but... but singing!"

Immediately, the two who pounced her grabbed her and ran outside the room. "Sorry, Peach! Next time!"

The princess nodded with understanding. And then they were gone.

And then silence took over the room, asides from the sips of tea.

"...well then, shall we meditate for the rest of our time here?" Peach asked. "There's only two five minutes left for the monthly thirty-minute session of Happy Tea Time anyways. Let's just relax ourselves."

Greninja, Wii Fit Trainer, Ashley and the White Pikmin nodded.

What a day it has been.


	3. The Beast

**3: The Beast**

It was terrible. No matter how many enemies this person had faced, no matter how many brave adventures he waded through... this creature was just impossible to defeat. Even those mobile fungi were good enough to deal with, even the sentient scorching fireballs were endurable. But if one dared challenge him with this creature, it would automatically be his defeat.

Nervously, his eyes darted around the room.

 _Crap... it disappeared!_ The Smasher considered escaping the room, but who knew where the creature went? Maybe it's waiting to ambush right outside.

Suddenly he heard a noise. He turned around and the creature struck from behind the fridge.

Dropping everything, Luigi let out the loudest scream he could muster.

Then Pikachu calmly entered the kitchen, zapping the cockroach when it got near the rodent. Few seconds later, Pikachu sat on the kitchen table, nibbling on a bowl of Pokemon food that a residential trainer had left out for Pokemon. Seeing Luigi send him a grateful expression, the electric mouse chuckled. _What a sissy... you're welcome!_ It made a small ' _pika~_ ' noise to let the green plumber interpret.

Luigi nodded, bowed, and walked out the room with a sigh of relief.

One day, he swore... he needed to get stronger.


	4. Handy Man to the Rescue

**4: Handy Man to the Rescue**

"Eeeek! Somebody help!" Peach's cry of distress echoed throughout the Smash Mansion.

Following that, an evil laughter swept through the nation that was everyone's ears. "Wa-ha-ha! It is-a useless!" the perpetrator said, standing in front of the kitchen entrance. "You can't hope to accomplish-a anything with your screams of-a help, young maiden!"

The princess of Mushroom Kingdom frowned. "Wario, you know my name."

"Shut up!" the stench-covered man yelled. "My-a identity was supposed to be-a secret!"

She raised an eyebrow. "But you're not even disguised as anything. Also, please give the garlic back," she said, "I need it to make dinner."

He laughed nefariously again before tossing the garlic into his mouth. "No way, lady."

"You know my na-"

"Shut up, seriously!" he repeated. "Anyways, you're screams of-a help won't succeed in calling for-a reinforcements!"

Then, several other Smashers strolled into the kitchen. "I heard screaming. Is Wario at it again?" Fox asked.

Peach sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's the same usual gimmick. Can you help make him give it back?"

"Lady, I-a already ate the garlic!" Wario pointed out.

"My name is Peach, for heaven's sake!" the princess exclaimed.

Fox snickered. "You guys seem like you're having fun."

Rolling her eyes, Peach took out some more garlic. "Oh well, I'll have to do with these... hey!" The garlic were gone. She turned to Wario- they were all in his hands now. "How'd you... ugh, never mind."

The yellow-cladded man laughed. "It is-a useless again, lady! For I am-a invinci-"

"Aha! I found him!" a deep voice shouted. All three heads turned to the new arrival- a giant floating right hand glove... wearing a fingerless glove over it, and a cape attached in an unrecognizable way. "I, the mysterious Handy Man, shall deliver justice to the criminal who stained the amazing Master Hand's seat with the stench of methane!" he said and pointed to the garlic lover.

Wario, Peach and Fox stared at him. "...what are you doing, Master Hand?"

Flinching, albeit for less than second, the mysterious caped hand shook a bit. "I, uh, what are you talking about? I am the mysterious Handy Man, not that amazing handsome right hand!" He pointed to Wario again. "Anyways, you! Surrender now or face justice for real!"

Unamused, Wario shrugged and tossed the garlic back to Peach. "I think I've seen-a enough weird things for-a today," he grumbled. "I'll just go now." Resigning to his uncertain fate with Master Hand's... weird hobby, he followed the hand back to Master Hand's office- which the mysterious 'hand hero' said was most definitely not his room.

Peach smiled. "Poor thing. I guess I'll make something special for him during dinner." She hummed and skipped away into a deeper room of the kitchen, clapping her hands and getting the chef Primids to start cooking.

Being the only person left in the outer area of the kitchen, the space vulpine decided to just head out the room.

Then, a box besides the refrigerator was pushed away. Snake revealed himself from under there, his face in deep curiosity. "I was waiting to ambush Master Hand to remind him of sending me home to my universe, but..."

He rubbed his bearded chin.

"...it's pretty messed up to see a glove wear a glove."


	5. What a Left Morning

**5: What a Left Morning**

A night in the hand of Crazy Day wasn't so boring. In fact, dogs may say bark bark, but in reality, cats go moo.

"Aha! It seems I have hijacked the writing system of this story we call... Death!" the left hand of destruction exclaimed with pride, his hand... er, _body_ curled up in a happy fist. "Take that, Godzilla!"

Nope, the writing system is back now.

"Aw." Crazy Hand made a small _hmph_ and turned to the window, as if pouting. In the Smash Mansion, the two hands manage the tournament system and pretty much everything in there. Master Hand was the right hand of creation, and tries to maintain the peace. Crazy Hand, who was the left hand of destruction, was basically useless but helps his brother from time to time... but to his brother's disappointment, the left hand instead loved to cause trouble and mischief and recruiting the help of... the villains.

And he was also one of those crazy people who believed that life itself is a story being written by an individual, which may differ from life to life. Doctor Mario declared him crazy, like his name suggests.

He suddenly turned to a giant hand skeleton besides his bed, a large Snorlax cushion with its head ripped apart. "Good morning, dear brother! I hope you're doing fine," he said to the giant hand skeleton. "I shall be going out to have some of Captain Falcon's punch now!" He then floated out the room, destroying the wall besides the huge door. "Now, where should I go..."

"Hey, Crazy!" a certain Koopa King called. The hand turned to the reptile, who was walking past his room. "I need that small skeleton hand back to put my human skeleton model back to perfection. Where is it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't have it anymore, Ganon," Crazy Hand replied while shaking his hand... body.

"What!? Did you lose it... did you just call me Ganon?" Bowser asked.

"No."

Not sure whether to believe him or not, Bowser sighed and shrugged. "Whatever. Where is it right now?" he asked. "My son Junior wants to see the full complete model again. Please don't tell me you ate or destroyed it."

Laughing his evil signature laugh, the left hand flashed a thumbs up to him.

"Crazy..." Bowser said, smiling. "I knew I could rely on-"

"Mario burned it."

"What!?" the king of Koopas roared. "How dare that damn princess-kidnapping plumber... Mario!" he yelled, running off to find and kill the Italian.

Crazy Hand shrugged. "Good luck on your journey for pastas!" he said.

Then, as if he didn't cause anything, the hand began roaming the hallways while twitching. He made his way to the mansion's cafeteria, greeting random people with the wrong names or mean nicknames. After getting his meal from Peach, he sat down on a table and stared at the food he chose- hamburgers.

"Uh, Crazy?" Ness said, getting his attention.

"Why, what seems to be bothering you, Sonic?" he replied.

"...I'm Ness," the boy clarified.

The left hand laughed. "Whatever you say, Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Now, what do you want?"

Sighing, Ness looked around at his confused friends. "This is our table... you know, the kids' table?" he said.

Crazy Hand looked around as well. Several confused stares were being directed towards him. "...I don't see the problem."

Toon Link stood up, slamming his hand on the table. "Objection! You know the problem here is clear as daylight!"

"Manners!" Peach screamed from across the room, from the food counter.

"Sorry!" the toon Hylian replied, then turned to Crazy Hand. "Anyways, the problem here is that you're not a kid!"

Gasping, the hand of destruction slammed his hand... body on the table as well. "Excuse me!? Are you guys trying to bully me, an innocent kid who deserves a bright future like you all do!?" In the process of slamming the table, he also crushed several of the kids' foods.

"My cereal!" Lucas whined, before sighing. "Oh well..."

"Did you just call me fat!?" Crazy Hand screamed at the blond child.

Lucas shrieked, jumping back off his chair. "E-eek! N-no, I didn't!"

"How dare you!?" The left hand floated up from the table, seemingly looking down at the young Smashers and their non-Smasher friends. "Think of the starving kids in Antarctica!"

One such non-Smasher who sat there, Ashley the witch, raised an eyebrow. "I think you meant Africa."

With what anyone could tell was a death glare, the hand turned to her. "Maybe I meant your mom! Oooohhh!"

Her face turning red with rage, the witch stood up. "You motherfu-" Her mouth was then covered by Ness, Toon Link and Nana trying to get her not to swear in front of the other kids.

Falco, who was sitting at a nearby adults' table while watching with amusement, put down his cup of coffee. "Crazy, that's not how 'your mom' jokes work!"

The left hand turned to the bird. "Actually, it kind of is. I'm basically saying her mom's so fat, she could be a country."

"Oh." The space avian rubbed his chin. "...I guess that works." Shrugging, he took another sip of his coffee before getting up and pointing at the witch who had just been calming down. "Ooooh! You just got burned, witch girl!"

Almost snapping again, the girl was about to swear at the bird while her friends tried to stop her.

"Aw, poor Cathy needs to calm down..." the left hand said in a fake sad tone.

"My name's Ashley!" the girl exclaimed.

"And I'm Popo!" the male Ice Climber who had been enjoying his breakfast and ignoring all the shenanigans suddenly said.

"Not now, Popo..." his girlfriend Nana muttered.

Yoshi suddenly appeared on the table. "Yoshi!" he said with his arms stretched out.

Tetra, Toon Link's girlfriend, facepalmed with a sigh. "What is going on this morning...?"

"I'll tell you what's happening!" Crazy Hand. "Halloween is coming!"

"Crazy!" Peach yelled, storming over to the kids' table. "Why are you causing such a ruckus in the morning!?" she asked.

The left hand made a shrug motion. "I was just hungry, geez. No need to be so angry, Peach-baby."

Everyone paled from that disgusting given nickname. "...you are disgusting, Crazy," the princess murmured.

"No, I'm not."

Popo raised his hand. "And I'm Popo!"

"Popo, shut up for now..." Nana whispered.

Crazy Hand, meanwhile, laughed. "I'm not crazy enough to get kidnapped every few weeks."

Everyone turned to Peach, who seemed to be glaring at him with her hands twitching. "...Crazy, do you want to fight me?" she asked calmly.

"Oh no!" he screamed. Seemingly afraid- not that anyone could tell- the left hand of destruction fled behind Ashley. "Johnie! Save me from the gorilla!"

Everyone turned to Peach again. Then at Ashley.

"...my name is Ashley, for heaven's sake!"

"Close enough."

Snapping as well, Peach and Ashley looked at each other and nodded. "A roasted left hand sounds good for the New Year's Party."

At that moment, Crazy Hand let out an utterly disgusting girly scream and sped out the cafeteria, everyone closing their eyes with pained expressions.

"Good lord, my ears are hurting!" Falco screamed.

"I'm going to go deaf!" Toon Link groaned.

"I'll be staying on this seat," Popo commented.

"Shut up Popo!" Nana screamed. "Oh God, my ears!"

And to think it had only been 8:00am.


	6. Beneath the Mask

**6: Beneath the Mask**

Lucina looked up.

Meta Knight looked back at her.

She looked down, ashamed.

After a few seconds, she looked up again.

He was still staring at her.

The girl promptly let out a nervous chuckle before dropping her head again.

Sighing, Meta Knight raised a hand. She tensed, preparing for the worst. "...I have been hearing from Peach and her friend Daisy recently that you've been tailing me for these past few days." He scratched his head. "I've been getting threats from Ike and Marth, who seem to think I've done something irreversible to you." Then he took a slight peek at a corner way behind Lucina, where he spotted the two aforementioned swordsmen eavesdropping. "And Bowser and Ganondorf had been congratulating me for committing a crime I do not believe I am aware of." He looked at the corner opposite to that, and saw the aforementioned villains also eavesdropping. He mentally sighed.

"W-well, I..."

He turned to look at her, causing the girl to zip her mouth shut. "...now, if you would..." he began, "do tell me if I have committed such obnoxious behavior towards your well-being somehow."

Nervously, she raised her hand.

"If you would like to slap me, then you are free to. I may as well as deserve it."

Then, she chuckled. He looked at her, confused. "Sir Meta Knight, please stop. That is not why I have been bothering you," she said. He nodded slowly, waiting for her to continue. "I simply heard that you were hiding your true appearance under your mask, and that made me wonder how you look..."

At this, Meta Knight noticed Ike and Marth sigh in relief while Bowser and Ganondorf sighed in disappointment, before they tensed again, curious about his face.

"..." He stayed silent, before silently chuckling as well.

"S... Sir Meta Knight?" the girl called.

He nodded. "Thank you for informing me. I am relieved that I have not done anything to you." He then turned around. "However, regarding my looks under the mask..."

Staying silent for a few seconds, he turned around again, staring at her in a way they all could feel was a teasing smirk. "You'll have to do something to see my real face."

Then, Ness and Wolf ran by. "Someone help!" the boy exclaimed.

"Give me back my blaster!" the lupine roared. His tail flicked Meta Knight's mask and pulled it off, and the two stopped running to look at the commotion as a metallic clang echoed throughout the halls.

Meta Knight froze as Ike, Marth, Bowser, Ganondorf, Lucina, Ness and Wolf stared at him.

Without his mask.

After what felt like hours, the silence was broken by the laughter of almost everyone there.

Lucina flinched when she noticed Ike, Marth, Bowser and Ganondorf. But then she swallowed nervously, turning back to the Kirby knight.

Said knight picked up the mask and put it on.

Then he grabbed his sword, a dark aura emanating from his entire body. Slowly, the laughter from the others began dying down. He glared at them all.

"Sir Ike... Sir Marth... Bowser... Ganondorf... Young Ness... Wolf..." he called each Smasher individually, then looked at Lucina. "...and Ms. Lucina."

Everyone tensed, whimpering at his growing aura of the intent to murder.

Lucina tried to smile. "Um... A-Addis Ababa...?" she whispered.

" _Would you seven be interested in a 1 VS 7 match?_ "


	7. New Year's Eve - The Final 2016

**7: New Year's Eve - The Final 2016**

The cafeteria looked really different today. There were plenty of decorations everywhere. Peach had been hanging up decorations everywhere with her friends, Smashers or non-Smashers alike. They were placed really neatly and in perfect positions, making the room look like something more than just a professional and official party. It was... _smashing_ , least to say.

"Lucas, dear? I ran out of tape. Can you bring me some more?" she asked.

The blonde boy nodded. "O-okay!" He rushed off to find Mr. Game & Watch, the one who pretty much provided all the materials for anything the mansion ever needed... one way or another. Nobody knew how it worked, but that Smasher was pretty much like the second God of the mansion.

If anyone wanted anything and Master Hand was in a bad mood, the next go-to guy was definitely Game & Watch.

"Mr. Game & Watch! T-the princess needs tape..." his voiced, almost loud but not enough, and the voice faded as he disappeared.

Peach giggled. "That boy is such a good boy and a good help."

Nearby, Daisy laughed. "Haha, you can say that again. He's a sweet kid." Then she pointed to a table below her and the ladder she was on. "But there's a new batch of tape right there though..." she pointed out, sweat dropping.

Peach had a similar reaction after that had been pointed out. "Oh... ahaha, well... eh. He's trying hard, that's good enough."

The two continued working on the decorations of the cafeteria.

Nearby, Palutena was conversing with her fellow Smashers, Lucina and Rosalina. They were helping at a slower pace due to being engaged in lots of discussion about random things. "Indeed, I believed it was rather amusing to hear such an obvious lie from him..." she said, before chuckling. "It was also even more amusing when he was getting punished by dear Roy, the one who uses fire."

Lucina's face was flushed red. "I... that man, how could he..." she murmured, hugely embarrassed.

"W-why were they, um, assuming our.. s-sexuality anyways...?" Rosalina asked, also embarrassed but more by the topic. "I-it's... it's nothing weird or... well, w-wrong... but... ueergghh..." she whimpered, unable to comprehend how red she was turning from even participating in this conversation.

The green-haired goddess chuckled at her. "Now, now. It was just a slight prank from dear Snake, no offense was intended... probably. We all get bored from time to time." She then looked at Lucina. "Do forgive him, I'm sure he didn't mean to offend anyone... probably."

Breathing in and out, Lucina managed to stay calm. "Yes, I understand that now. I shall not... kill, I suppose."

"K-kill...?" Rosalina whispered to herself, slightly appalled.

Then, away from that group of conversation, the villains were gathered up and not helping with decorations. From time to time, they grabbed the prepared drinks from a tray ROB had been holding and laughs at the robot, who is forced to leave and get a new set. "Anyways, so there I was, having discovered some paint to make me look cooler!" Bowser explained.

"How would that work?" Wario asked.

Shrugging, the Koopa King continued his story. "So, like, I jumped into the fountain and spun around, getting my shell awesome! But then... somehow, the paint in the fountain began turning black, apparently they mixed together or something, and get this- it turned evil and possessed me!" he said. The others stared at him.

"Bowser, that's the stupidest shit I've ever heard happening to a villain," Ganondorf commented.

"Yeah, I mean... why are you, the villain of Mario's world, getting possessed by... fucking paint!?" Wolf asked.

The Koopa King glared at the lupine. "Look, even I don't know what the hell happened, okay?" he said. "But like... apparently I became this thing known as Black Bowser and I did all sorts of stuff." He sighed. "We never even got to know what the heck was up with the paint... so, like, I guess Nintendo basically turned me black for the laughs."

"Hey, are you trying to say there's something bad with being black?" Ganondorf asked. "I may not be black, but as someone who is dark-skinned, I feel slightly offended."

"N-no, man, I ain't saying anything about black being bad!" the Koopa King exclaimed. "I just wish they gave more depth on what the heck the Black Paint is!"

Wario rubbed his chin and nodded. "Yeah, true. I-a think that would've been-a lot more enjoyable with-a some explanation."

Dedede frowned. "Wait, if the Black Paint thing possessed you by covering you entirely..." he began, "does that mean it also... like, went _in_ you? Like... you know?"

The villains all stared at the duck king. He returned the stare with oblivious confusion.

"Dude..." Wolf frowned, before his eyes widened. " _Now_ you're asking the real questions here!"

"Bros, I think since Master Hand is like almost a God here, he should know the answer to that." Ganondorf and the villains exchanged grins before rushing out the room. "Let's go find Master Hand!"

"For answers!" Bowser said.

"For glory!" Wolf said.

"For garlic!" Wario said.

"For... what the hell, Wario?" Dedede said.

The villains then disappeared.

Watching them from afar, Mario sighed. "What are-a they acting like children for, seriously?" he sighed.

Sonic laughed, patting his rival. "Hey, buddy, it's alright. They'll grow up eventually," he said. "I mean, they can't be _that_ immature, right?"

Suddenly, Wario ran back into the room, took a plate of crackers from ROB, and farted in its face. "Sucks to be-a you, robot!" he said before running out again.

The blue hedgehog scratched his quills. "Well... hey, at least we can have some peace in this room without the villains," he said.

"Haha, you have a point, Sonic." The plumber continued hanging some photographs on the wall. They were photographs of fun moments within the year of 2016, photos all secretly taken somehow. Most of them had no one looking at the camera, but few had some looking in the direction of the camera- but the only people who noticed it knew they were looking directly at the cameraman.

"Damn though... those photos are good quality stuff," he said. "How'd your bro become so good at photography?" he asked.

Mario chuckled with pride. "That's-a Luigi's secret. Not-a telling."

"Aw, no fair..." Sonic grumbled.

The plumber patted him. "Hey, come on. You could-a just go ask Luigi yourself."

"True, true."

The two stared at the photo that Mario had just hung. It was a photo of Samus sitting on the couch, asleep with an immensely gentle face. However, what made people sigh with adoration wasn't the picture of the girl herself... it was who else was in the photo. Samus wasn't alone- Toon Link was on her lap, also asleep. Then, Nana and Ashley were leaning on Samus from each side, again also asleep. The only person awake seemed to be Tetra, who wasn't on the cough and was posing for the photo- it was one of the very few photos were Luigi the cameraman had not been hiding in secret.

"Samus can sure be-a really peaceful, huh?" Mario mused.

"Sure can..." Sonic replied.

"May I ask who took this photo?"

"It's-a my brother, Lui...gi..." Mario frowned as he turned around and noticed Samus. "...uh-oh."

Sonic patted his back. "I'll... go warn your brother. Hey Luigi!" he yelled, preparing to dash off to find the green plumber. "You better-"

Samus grabbed Sonic by the quill, holding him back. "Where... is... Luigi?" she asked.

The hedgehog paled. "Uh... um..." He couldn't give an answer. He didn't even know anyways, but if he did, he wouldn't tell anyways. Returning Samus' stare in fear, he noticed the bounty hunter blushing heavily. "...aw, Sammy, come on. No need to be embarrassed. This photo shows how cute you can b-"

"Go to hell!" she roared, smashing Sonic's head through the photo. She left him dangling out the hole on the photo's couch, leaving the room to find Luigi.

Mario prayed mentally for his brother.

The kids came running into the room soon, and they noticed the picture. Toon Link laughed. "Hahaha! It's a picture of us, oh man! This is awesome!" he said. "Hey, Mr. Mario, who took this picture?" he asked. "I need to thank the cameraman!"

The plumber smiled. "The cameraman is my-a brother, Luigi."

"Really!?" Nana asked. "I'm amazed... are all these photos his too?"

"Yes," Mario nodded. "My brother is an incredible photographer, you-a see."

"They're all amazing..." Nana said in awe. Then she blushed slightly at the picture with Samus and her sleeping. "...d-did he have to take that though... h-hey! Tetra, you're awake there!"

Tetra chuckled. "Yeah, I know. I asked Mr. Luigi to take the picture."

"W-why!?" Ashley exclaimed. "This, this is... this is so embarrassing..." she muttered, turning red just like her dress. "I, I'm going to... to find Mr. Luigi and curse him..."

Mario frowned. This mansion sure has weird people... He turned to Toon Link. "Link, if you want to thank-a my brother, you should quickly go-a find him now." He chuckled and petted the cartoon Hylian. "If you don't-a hurry, he'll be cursed by that young one over there..."

"Okay! Anything else, Mr. Mario?" Toon Link asked, excited.

"Hmm... he might-a also be killed by Samus before."

"Oh." The Hylian frowned, deep in thought, before shrugging. "Oh well, I'm going to help him then. Tetra, Nana, let's go!" he said.

The two mentioned Smashers nodded and quickly ran off to find Luigi and protect him, while Ashley soon followed afterwards, wanting to find him before the others and curse him.

Mario laughed. "What a wild-a mansion we live in!" He looked over to Peach, who had finished decorating her area and was chatting with Daisy as they were heading towards him for more chattering. "This New Year's party is-a going to be wonderful, right, Master-a Hand?" he whispered to himself, then went to talk to the princesses.


	8. New Year Special 2017

**8: New Year Special 2017**

"Thank you to everyone for gathering here in the auditorium." Master Hand floated onto the center of the stage, standing in front of the lectern. "I know it may be tiring to stay awake all the way, but this is for the sake of having fun and enjoying the new coming year." He pointed to the hanging clock behind, which indicated the exact time- 11:59pm. "I praise you all for being able to stay awake."

"Oh, get real, brother!" Crazy Hand laughed and pushed his brother asides.

"What the- Crazy!" the right hand said.

The left hand shrugged. "As if anyone would be tired at this point," he pointed out. "Who the heck would dare go to sleep before New Year?"

The Smashers, albeit slightly worried of Crazy Hand hijacking the last announcement of 2016, nodded in agreement. Master Hand looked around and sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. I apologize, I was planning on starting on a serious note but..." Then he suddenly grabbed the lectern and threw it behind him, everyone gasping. "Forget that! All Smashers, let's start the party! All the announcements and stuff shall come tomorrow!" He pointed in a random direction of the crowd. "Start the countdown! Ten seconds left!"

Very few seconds were wasted on deciding who would lead the countdown. Eventually, Captain Falcon jumped up on some chairs.

"Now _that's_ more like it!" Captain Falcon cheered, everyone starting to get excited and turning to him. "Everyone, I'll lead! Ready?"

"Ready!" almost everyone replied.

Mario and Luigi nodded to each other. "Three!"

Toon Link and the other kids laughed together. "Two!"

Several swordsmen, along with Lucina, raised their arms energetically. "One!"

Captain Falcon, with his right fist scorching in flames, threw his hand up. "Falcon... Start!"

At that moment, everyone erupted into cheers.

Several party poppers went off, balloons were released into the air, ornaments and lights glowed.

The party wasn't limited to only Smashers- several non-Smashers had gathered too and they were participating equally in the celebration. Enemies and friends became no more than comrades, drinking and laughing and roaming around wildly.

A new year had arrived, and the old one had left. 2017 was here, and the Smashers knew they were all going to have a wild time.

"Oh, yeah!" Bowser rushed onto the stage and yanked a mic off the lectern. "I'll show you guys how to rap good stuff!"

"Bowser can rap?" Marth asked.

Ganondorf grinned. "Yeah, and fella's actually good at it."

"Oh, damn. You go, big guy!" Ike cheered.

His son Bowser Jr. also took in a deep breath. "Yeah, do your best, Papa!"

Nearby, Zelda was lecturing Ashley. "No, young lady. You cannot drink these!"

"But why?" the young witch asked. "I'm sure it isn't that bad, you know..."

"You're like, fifteen years old!" the princess answered.

"That's just what the westernization assumed!"

She rubbed her chin. "Okay then... you're like, nine or ten?"

"That's also assumption!"

Popo stepped into the conversation. "Technically, they never confirmed Ashley's real age." Then he walked away to get some punch, which Captain Falcon decided to steal from him, causing a fun chase around the room.

Zelda shrugged. "Well, I'm not sure about that stuff, but girl it is still too dangerous." She raised her arms. "What if it ends up badly for you? Who knows what the consequences are!?"

Pouting, the witch turned away. "Fine... whatever. I didn't want it anyways, hmph!"

As the Hylian princess sighed, someone staggered over to her. "Huh?" She turned around, and Rosalina embraced her. "R-Ross? What's, uh, wrong?"

The light blonde haired princess hiccuped. "Zelllll..." she moaned. "This party is... wiiiiild, hehe..he..."

"Ross, are you drunk?" Zelda asked. "Were you drinking too much?"

"Ms. Rosalina drinks?" Ashley wondered.

"Yeah, good question. Ross, I didn't know you drink."

As if offended, Rosalina stepped away and pouted. "Zel, you-" she paused and hiccuped, "-you, didn't... didn't know? That's, s-stupid..." Another hiccup. "I'm going to, ugh, going to... hafta pu, punish you..."

"P-punish me?" the Hylian repeated. "How are you going to do that?"

"W-with, why, with this!" Rosalina then leapt onto the other princess.

"W-whoa, Ross! W-wait, eek!"

Ashley only stared at the scene, her face turning red as she witnessed Rosalina being drunkenly intimate with her friend.

Ignoring that commotion, going back to the stage, Bowser had been mocked by King Dedede, provoking him into starting a rap battle between the two.

"So in this corner we have the great King of the Koopas, Bowser!" Megaman said as he pointed to the first battler. Everyone roared with excitement. "In the other corner, we have the King of Dreamland, King Dedede!" he said. More cheers erupted from the audience.

Some were chanting Bowser's name, some were chanting Dedede's name, the party going completely wild.

"You wanna give up now before you lose, punk?" Bowser asked, grinning.

"Over Kirby's dead body!" Dedede exclaimed.

"P-poyo?" Kirby called from the stage.

"Shut up, Kirby."

Megaman coughed, getting everyone's attention. "Anyways, the beat shall be performed by me, ROB and Mr. Game & Watch!" More cheers. "Get ready, Smashers! Aaaand... go!"

Bowser brought the mic to his jaw. "Look who's back- it's the fat ugly duckling! The whiny, greedy, stupid, poor excuse of a king!" he began. "I fight a super plumber and the powers that he got, you fight a pink blob who really sucks a lot!" He pointed to the duck Smasher, who had been nodding to the beat. "You're a penguin, Dedede, you don't scare me- the only crime you've done is the stealing of food. I don't clown around, I go around kidnapping princesses but you're just a worthless piece of fat! You're just a lame dude!"

"Sit back down, Mr. King of all Fails!" Dedede retorted. "Plumbers are the only thing that you've ever felled! The amount of times you've lost is ten times your number of kids, and you got controlled by paint? You're a villain full of shit!"

"Language!" Peach yelled. She was ignored by the rapping Smasher.

"Why the heck ya putting axes in your castle levels? It's like you want to lose to your friends, M and L!" Dedede shrugged and pointed to the Koopa King. "I may be a duck, but nobody gives a fuck! You call yourself a Koopa? You were once a green crocodile, sucka!"

The battle continued between the two, flaring the audience even more.

Meanwhile, at the balcony of the mansion, Master Hand floated as he looked down at his Smashers who were enjoying the party. "Must be nice to be young..." he murmured, holding a giant glass of wine.

"I-a think the party is going nicely," Mario said as he stepped up besides the hand's right, looking down.

"Heh. Yeah, sure seems to be going nicely." The giant right hand put the giant glass of wine down behind me. "I just... am still worried, I suppose."

"About-a what?" the Italian plumber asked the leader of the mansion. "We are all-a capable fighters, improving thanks to the tournament and thanks to-a you. Ever since the Subspace Emissary caused by-a Tabuu, we've been training to make-a sure the same mistakes aren't-a made." He took a sip from his own glass. "Whatever else could-a happen?"

Samus then stepped up to Master Hand's left. "Heh, I think maybe you just need to chill too, Master Hand."

"Samus..." the right hand said. "...I suppose you are right..."

Laughing, Mario patted the hand of creation's back. "There's-a nothing to worry about, Master-a Hand. If anything even happens at all, we will make sure to keep everyone-a safe."

"You have my word on that," the female bounty hunter added.

"I..." Master Hand seemed to smile. "Thank you, Mario. Thank you, Samus... you guys, from the original twelve... thank you all." He looked at the party in the garden from the balcony. "The Smashers, the Assist Trophies, everyone... they're all like family to me now."

"Same-a here," Mario said.

"Heh. Well, I guess I should go and try to enjoy the party too." Master Hand took a thinking pose, tapping his fingers on the rails. "What should I do though?"

Chuckling, Samus raised a finger. "Why not do some stunt as our Handy Man character?" she asked. "I personally find that hobby cute. Everyone likes to have a superhero persona. Why don't you go?"

"I see. I suppose I shall do just that." Master Hand glowed, albeit not too bright so he wouldn't get everyone's attention. Within a few seconds, he was now wearing the attire he used for his superhero hobby. "I always had a thing for this, and I sure won't be stopping this soon." Chuckling, the hand floated up and down from the balcony into the garden. "Iiiiiiit's Handy Man to the rescue!"

"There he-a goes..." Mario said before he chuckled as well. "Even Master-a Hand has his playful side too, I-a see."

"Of course," Samus answered. "That guy's always wanted fun. The old days in the first tournament, now those were really good times... fella's just lonely, too." She then thought about Crazy Hand and laughed. "Pretty nice how he grew up, unlike Crazy Hand who just... went crazy."

Mario laughed too. "Yeah, those were-a crazy times... oh, isn't that-a Zelda?" he said.

The bounty hunter looked down and saw the Hylian princess on a table in the garden, sitting on top. "Yeah, that's... is she and Rosalina... huh?" The two princesses below were locked in a fierce kiss, their faces red, Zelda sitting on the table while Rosalina was basically trying to deepen the kiss as much as she could. "Oh, shit... they're both drunk as hell!"

Sighing, Mario grabbed the balcony rail. "I'll go-a stop the thing... kids shouldn't be watching-a that," he said. Samus was confused for a second before looking again- Ashley was still watching the two go at it, her face really red. "I got-a this. You stay here."

"Heh. You go, Mario." Samus waved a bye to the iconic Smasher and watched as he jumped down to the garden and rushed over to stop the intense kissing session. She sighed as her eyes moved around, witnessing others' enjoyment one by one. "A family, huh..." Samus whispered. "...sounds like a nice thing."

"Samus..." a voice said from behind her.

"Oh, Master Hand. You're back?" she asked and turned around. The bounty hunter frowned when she saw that it was not Master Hand, but his brother, Crazy Hand. "Crazy. What are you... you're not enjoying the party?" she asked, surprised. The hand didn't respond, so Samus assumed he was going to prank her any second. Resigning to her fate, she chuckled. "Well, whatever. Bring it, Crazy... whatever prank you got, do your best. I'll get revenge though. Haha."

Then, Crazy Hand floated to besides her. "Samus Aran."

"Hm?" She frowned. Then she noticed. Crazy Hand wasn't twitching crazily like a maniac at all. He was... calm and composed. And his tone was... serious. She narrowed her eyes. Whenever Crazy Hand isn't being crazy like usual, some people may be confused or scared but Samus knew it meant one thing- it was serious business.

She looked back to Master Hand, dressed up as Handy Man, who had been conversing with Luigi and Meta Knight.

Perhaps the promise to keep everyone safe will become slightly harder, assuming trouble was coming.

She turned back to Crazy Hand.

"...I'm listening."


	9. The Touch of Your Lips

**9: The Touch of Your Lips**

Zelda looked into Rosalina's eyes. "S-so... uh..." she said, trying to start a conversation. But she couldn't think of anything.

Rosalina cocked her head. "What is it, Zel?" she asked. The girl had forgotten what she became last night, only remembering that she had lots of fun and drunk some of the beverages that were being provided. "Is something, um, bothering you...?"

"N-no, um... it's nothing," the Hylian replied and looked away. She was finding it harder to face her friend each passing second, turning red and redder every moment.

Frowning, but understanding, the princess of the galaxy nodded. "I understand. Perhaps something bad happened during the party yesterday and you want some alone time..." she said, trying to think of what could've happened to her friend. Then she gasped. "I got it! Did that scary man Ganondorf do something to you?" Rosalina asked, worried. As she asked this question, she grabbed Zelda's hand tightly out of concern.

The Hylian, however, didn't take that so well and blushed harder. "N-no! I, um, it's something else! R-Ross, it's fine... it's fine..." she whispered.

The two stared into each other's eyes.

"...o-or... is it...?" Zelda asked, uncertain.

Rosalina sweat dropped. "I... I wouldn't know that, Zel."

Sighing, Zelda got up. "Well, it... it's alright, Ross. Everything's fine..." she said. "I'll be fine, thanks for worrying."

Her friend also got up, and grabbed Zelda by the shoulder. "Whatever you say, Zel, but remember..." She turned Zelda around, and to the Hylian's embarrassment, Rosalina pressed their foreheads together with a smile. "We're friends, so if you ever need any help, just tell me or Peach or Samus or anyone. Okay?"

Zelda nodded weakly, feeling her legs weakening. She swore she almost fainted.

"No matter what, we'll all try to help, okay?"

 _Not when you're the problem, Ross!_ Zelda wanted to scream, but she couldn't. "O-okay..." The two stayed in that position for quite some time, an awkward silence taking over. "R-Ross...?" she whispered.

Rosalina snapped out of it, turning slightly red as well. "O-oh, uh, sorry. I just... thought that, well," she scratched her head, "your lips seemed... like they'd feel good, and... huh?" She frowned and blushed harder with the other girl. "What... w-what am I saying... I... huh?"

Fearing the princess remembering the events of yesterday, Zelda panicked with as much embarrassment she could feel. "W-well! I'll, I'll be going now Ross! To, to help Jigglypuff clean her, her giant ship Robert Junior!" she said, jumbling details together without thinking. The girl quickly ran out the room.

Rosalina stared at the door, then touched her lips with her right hand's index finger. "...why do I feel like... like I know that..." she began, and stared at her finger.

Then she stared at the door again.

"...that her lips are soft and warm?"


	10. A Doctor and His Patients I

**10: A Doctor and His Patients I**

Doctor Mario sighed. "You guys ought to stop-a getting these-a injuries, you know?"

Captain Falcon shrugged. "I don't know about that, doc. I don't think we deserve all these things that had been happening to us," he said. "I mean, I didn't do nothing wrong! It's all a sham, doctor. It's a ruse!" He stood up and pointed to the ceiling. "It's all part of an elaborate plan to take over the mansion, I tell you!"

"What did you-a do?" Doctor Mario asked, looking at him straight in the eye.

"I tripped and accidentally pulled down and ripped Rosalina's dress and then wolf-whistled, hell yeah, baby!" he exclaimed.

The doctor stared at him.

After a few seconds, the bounty hunter sighed and sat down. "Yeah, you're right... but what about the others?" he asked. The man pointed to Charizard. "What did the big fella do to end up so brutally messed up?" he asked.

Doctor Mario sighed. "He took a dare from-a Falco to jump into a swimming pool and to quickly fly out. His tail did not-a do so well."

Captain Falcon rubbed his chin. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that's his fault for being stupid."

" _Graargh... (Shove it...)_ " the Pokemon growled from the bed.

"Anyways," Captain Falcon pointed to King Dedede, "what about that guy over there?"

"King Dedede was finally caught-a as the culprit to the disappearance between the presents intended for the kids during-a the Christmas party nine-a days ago."

The man shrugged. "Yeah, I guess he deserved it. I mean, he still owes me fifty Smash Coins."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at him.

Captain Falcon laughed. "Oh, one time we made a bet on Samus' sexuality."

The eyebrow remained raised.

He shrugged. "I just lied and told him I heard from Snake that she was bisexual."

Dedede turned his head to Captain Falcon. "You lied to me!?" he screamed.

"Oh, shit! You were awake?" the racer said.

Then, right besides Dedede on a bed that was blocked within the racer's view, Snake weakly sat up. "You told him that I said what!?"

Captain Falcon frowned. "Snake! You were here too!?"

Snake ignored that question. "Was that why Samus came to beat the shit out of me last month?"

"Oh, uh... sorry that happened. Haha." Captain Falcon laughed nervously, then frowned again. "Wait, why are you here this time?"

"I told Palutena that Lucina was gay and wanted to have sex with her," the mercenary replied.

The racer dropped his jaw. "Holy shi... really!?" he said.

"No, you idiot! It was a lie!" Snake said. "And, well, Roy- the human one- heard me and beat me up... he knew it was a lie, but I'm not sure why he cared."

Captain Falcon stared at Snake. "...you're terrible."

"I know."

Doctor Mario coughed, getting their attention. "Personally, I-a think you both are equally terrible. Other people's-a sexuality isn't things to joke or-a lie about." Then, sighing, he turned around. "Why do I-a have such stupid patients..."

"Hey, that offends me, Doc." Captain Falcon patted the doctor. "Maybe you're too paranoid about stuff and are worrying about someone in danger, but calm down, okay? No need to take out that frustration on us."

"Yeah," Snake said, "it's not good for a doctor to be distressed while he's doing his job."

Doctor Mario turned to them. "I am really stressed, and it's-a because you idiots keep doing stupid-a things and getting sent-a here!"

Captain Falcon shook his head. "That's not true! Heck, I bet you that nobody else will come to the infirmary today!" He waved his arms in the air. "You're free, doctor! You're free for today, I say!"

The door opened abruptly. An army of Pikmin walked in, carrying an unconscious… Meta Knight. Everyone stared, mildly surprised. "Whoa, what the heck happened to Meta?" Dedede asked.

Lucina walked into the room as well. "W-well, you see…" she began, "Wario was having fun teasing Princess Rosalina and Princess Zelda…" she said. "Due to… well, stuff that happened during the party. Princess Rosalina didn't get anything, but Princess Zelda was furious… kind of."

"Meta Knight tried to stop Wario?" Snake asked.

The female warrior nodded. "Of course, we all expected him to win easily but… Wario seemed to have improved greatly and fought on par with Sir Meta Knight."

Dedede wolf-whistled. "Damn. Wario got a tie with Meta? That's new."

Captain Falcon frowned. "Wait, then why is Meta Knight the only one here and Wario not sent here?"

Lucina chuckled. "We all thought Wario didn't deserve to be brought to the infirmary."

"…okay." Everyone blinked. The way Lucina said that was really innocent, but the context was somewhat worrisome. Perhaps they should hope not to do anything evil in front of Lucina…

Doctor Mario, meanwhile, stared at the unconscious body of Meta Knight. Then he sent an unamused glare to Captain Falcon.

"What, doc? ...oh, okay. Fine. You were right," the racer sighed.


	11. Simple Chitchatting

**11: Simple Chitchatting**

Ness plopped onto the sofa, grabbing the remote. He pressed the power button, the TV screen coming to the life. Then, he turned to the person to his right- Ganondorf stared at the screen, then at him. "Were you... sleeping? Should I close?"

The warlock's stare burned through his skull, but Ness didn't really mind it. "...no, I was just lost in thought. I don't really care."

Nodding, Ness turned back to the TV. He didn't really have anything he wanted to watch, so he decided to just watch whatever he got from the current channel.

It was in the middle of a show. Currently, the man and woman had just gone into hiding in a hotel room. Apparently they were hiding from some assassins hired to kill the man. Why the woman was involved, Ness wondered until he heard the man say that there are two group of assassins, each hired to kill each fugitive. Somehow, the two fugitives fell in love and decided it was a good idea to get into a hot make out session in the hotel room.

The boy frowned. "What if there are assassins in the next room?" he wondered. "Doing these mushy things and being loud would be game over."

Ganondorf chuckled. "Love makes you do stupid things, kid."

"Touché." The two continued watching the show. At some point, the man pushed the woman against a wall and their hands were practically all over each other, trying to deepen the kiss as if they were wild animals lusting for more. "Doesn't it hurt to get pushed against a wall so roughly like that?"

"Simple... pleasure overcomes pain." The warlock pointed to the two idiots on the screen. "When they become stupid due to love, they do stupid things for the sake of feeling good and don't really care about pain, unless the pain is greater."

Ness scratched his head. "I'd think being smashed against the wall with my mouth being sucked is pretty painful."

The man shrugged. "They're stupid."

Chuckling, the two went back to watching. By now, the man was beginning to undress the woman, dropping cheesy compliments about her body, her skin, et cetera.

"...aren't you too young to be watching this?" Ganondorf asked. "They're probably going to have sex soon."

Ness turned to him. "...don't tell anyone," he said.

Sighing, the warlock turned back to the screen. "Whatever you say. Less kids to talk about the birds and the bees."

They sat in silence.

Then someone walked into the room. "Hey," the person greeted- it was Ashley, the witch girl who was also an Assist Trophy. "What's on the TV right n...ow..." she froze as she witnessed the screen. The man had begun dipping the french fry into the tomato sauce. Blushing furiously, she turned to Ness. "W-what is this!?"

"Oh, uh..." The boy and adult exchanged glances before raising a thumbs up to the witch girl. "It's nature."

Speechless, the girl ran out the room.

"...I think she's going to get an adult," Ness said.

"Mmhm." Ganondorf didn't seem to care.

"...I think you're going to die."

"Yeah." Once again, they didn't exchange much words. But then Ganondorf got up. "But hey, I got better things to do than die here." He looked at Ness. "I'll leave now and lure whoever comes. You stay here and finish watching that stuff."

Ness smiled. "Well, I'm not that interested, but sure." He waved bye. "Thanks, Ganon. You're a pretty nice guy."

"No problem," the evil warlock said. "Anything for corruption."

He made his way towards the hallway, his cape fluttering with dramatic tension.

Ness stared at his back as he walked away. _Somewhat cool..._ he mused in his head.

And thus, Ganondorf left the room, walking.

Walking into a path for his right cheek to meet Samus' fist.

 _Oh well. Hope he gets better_ , Ness thought as he resumed his movie while trying to tune out the screams of agony coming from the warlock being beaten up by a bounty hunter and having his groin stomped on by an angry witch girl.


	12. Happy Tea Time II

**12: Happy Tea Time II**

On another peaceful day as such, who wouldn't want another moment of complete peace and discussion? It was a new month now anyways. Last month during December, the only reason they had their calm tea tradition so late after Christmas was because everyone had been way too excited about Christmas and causing Peach to forget about it.

But this time, she shall have the tradition happen fast and quick within every new month.

From now on, she was going to make sure her Happy Tea Time tradition was not destroyed.

Seated around the table again, Peach sat on one chair, with her crown glowing with the significance anyone recognizes- she was the leader.

To her left, Bowser was scratching his left shoulder. Every now and then, he looked to his right at the princess, and a smile plasters itself onto his maw.

To the Koopa King's left, a tied-up Captain Falcon struggled to get himself free. He was lucky that they left his mouth unwrapped, but he now couldn't cause a ruckus physically.

During this session, Doctor Mario was busy tending to some more unfortunately stupid Smashers, and thus declined the offer to join today. Donkey Kong had planned on going outside the mansion with Diddy Kong to find a new tie to buy. And also bananas.

Sitting to Captain Falcon's left was Nana of the Ice Climbers. Greninja was supposed to be between them, but today it was dueling with Lucario and Mewtwo in a 1 VS 1 VS 1 match. Nana, along with Bowser, were one of the few people who were perfect attenders to the tradition- something Peach honestly appreciated.

To Nana's left was a newcomer joining only for this one session- Luigi. The plumber had nothing better to do due to others wanting to hang out with basically any non-Luigi-s. Sitting on Luigi's head (hat) was Jigglypuff, who usually sat on Lucario's lap due for unknown reasons, but since the aura Pokemon wasn't here, she settled for Luigi's hat. It was equally comfortable to, she supposed. (Translation: very comfortable).

Then, to their left, directly opposite of Peach was Rosalina. Palutena had other matters to attend, therefore she wasn't able to participate in this session. However, she never did tell anyone what she was going to do, but apparently she had plans with Lucina and Zelda to head outside the mansion for shopping as well. Rosalina, meanwhile, feeling as though she did something to offend Zelda, decided to decline the offer to join their trip- thus staying for her friend's monthly tradition.

Wii Fit Trainer, who would've been to the cosmos princess' left, was scouted by Crazy Hand to lead his newly created team of trainers. She knew how crazy the left hand was and was somewhat wary, but honestly she loved the idea. Gathering trainers. What could the hand possibly be planning? A training center that lets anyone come to train in whatever field they wish for? The team had her, Pokemon Trainer, Meta Knight, Mario and Ryu.

To Rosalina's left, rather than the female fitness trainer, was Pokemon Trainer Y, another perfect attender who never missed a meeting. On her lap was Ashley, yet another perfect attender. Pokemon Trainer Y gently petted the witch girl's head as the two sat.

And then, to their left were three newcomers also attending only for today.

First was Waluigi, who joined for absolutely unknown reasons.

Next, to his left was Nightmare from Kirby's series. Nobody trusted him that much, but assumed it would be alright as he _is_ pretty much surrounded by heroes everywhere.

Lastly, to Nightmare's left and Peach's right was a Mii. It was dressed in casual attire, not holding any of its special weapons thus you wouldn't be able to tell if it was a Mii Brawler, Mii Swordfighter or Mii Gunner. But regarding Miis, the mansion had only one Mii resident. When tournament matches happen, if a specific Mii identity is requested, a new Mii is created solely for that match and is destroyed after the match finishes. If a match requires a simple Mii, this Mii battles. If more than one, this Mii is cloned. When questioned why he didn't just let Miis live here freely, Master Hand expressed his disapproval of his house turning into chaos with so many Miis.

Peach cleared her throat. "We shall now begin our first Happy Tea Time session of 2017..." she said. "Does anyone have a topic they wish to start with?"

Bowser raised his hand.

"In a civilized manner."

He dropped his hand.

She sighed. "Damn it, Bowser, we go over this every single meeting..." she muttered under her breath. Then she cleared her throat again. "Anyways, does anyone else have any topic they wish to discuss?"

Nightmare chuckled with an evil tone. "Why, I would like to start, my dear."

The princess glared at him. "...okay. Please start."

The Kirby villain looked around at everyone. "First, I would like to apologize for what I will discuss. I simply want an audience that I may boast the topic to." He then cleared his throat and assumed a businessman pose. "To be frank, I would like to share a plan I am currently working on..." he said.

"W-what may that-a be...?" Luigi asked, somewhat afraid.

Nightmare smirked at him. "Why, curious? Good." He leaned over the table, glaring directly into the plumber's eyes. "I'd be happy to share." Leaning back, he let out an evil laugh. "These are plans for my conquest to take over the entire Smash Mansion!"

"No." Peach took a sip from her tea.

"You see, I shall start with... excuse me?" Nightmare frowned, turning to the princess. "Did I perhaps hear that wrong? Did you deny my chance to share my plans?"

"That's right," Peach said. "It's a no. Please leave."

The villain growled. "Such insolence towards me, I see... well, _princess_ ," he hissed, "when I show you my real power you won't be-"

"She said to leave, you dimwit!" Bowser roared.

Nightmare flinched, before growling. "I'll show you some day... you pesky monkeys..." he murmured, before fading away from existence.

"...no need to be so loud and rough, Bowser." The Mario villain flinched as well from Peach's statement. "...but thank you." Now he was smiling.

"Ooh, I have something I would like to discuss," Pokemon Trainer Y raised her hand.

"Very well. What is it, deary?" Peach asked.

The blonde Pokemon trainer adjusted her magenta hat. "You know how you're in charge of the meals for the mansion, right?" she asked, to which the princess nodded. "Well, considering how many mouths there are to feed, it must be really tiring. And the varying types of meals to be made isn't helping at all, right?"

"Are you going to suggest helping me cook?" Peach asked. Y nodded, but she interrupted. "I'm afraid it's a no, dear. I can handle it, but you do have a point. But I don't think your time should be wasted with cooking."

Y smiled. "Well, true, but I know a specific group I could help with feeding... Pokemon!"

Peach raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we have _lots_ of Pokemon here. From this tournament _and_ from the previous tournaments, all who decided to stay." She patted herself. "Therefore, I think I can lessen your work a lot by focusing on those Pokemon! Besides, I know a lot."

The princess of Mushroom Kingdom rubbed her chin. "True, you do make a fair point..." she said. "Alright, how about we go ask Master Hand after this meeting?"

"Sure! Glad to be of help!" Y cheered.

"Now," Peach looked around the table, "any more topics?"

"Waluigi thinks this-a tradition _suuuuucks_." The purple-cladded plumber rubbed his mustache while he burped, looking at the ceiling. "It needs-a more Waluigi and less-a losers, waa."

Peach frowned. "Waluigi..."

Then Captain Falcon, despite being tied up, managed to stand on his legs. "I agree! This tea time bullshit-"

"Language!"

"-er, _crap_ is stupid!" He looked around. "Fellow Smashers and non-Smashers, I beseech you!" He then directed his gaze at Peach. "Do you really want this boring tea session to continue? Or do you want my amazing future proposal, the great punch session, to start? Punch is way better than tea!" He jumped onto his chair, balancing himself so he wouldn't fall off the chair as he was still tied up. "Punch for life! Tea for losers! Vote me for president, and I shall build that wall between tea and punch!" Then he looked down at Peach with a taunting grin. "And I'll make sure Peach pays for that wall!"

"Yeah!" Waluigi cheered. "Waluigi has no ideas what you just-a said, but Waluigi agrees!" he exclaimed.

"Team Punch! Team Punch!" the racer chanted, and soon Waluigi joined in.

Peach growled, stomping on Waluigi. "W-waah!" Straightening up in pain, Peach grabbed the stiff Waluigi and aimed him at Falcon.

"Team Pu... w-wait, Peach, what are you doing, no, stop..." Captain Falcon rasped, backing away by hopping backwards. Peach threw the stiff-as-a-stick Waluigi like a javelin, smashing the racer's stomach and sending them out the window. "Son of a Peaaaach!"

"Excuse me!?" the princess yelled, red from rage.

"That's my line!" Bowser roared. He promptly shut up when Peach glared at him.

The group then ignored the cries of suffering from the two people who were just sent out the window.

"I pray for their deaths..." Ashley whispered.

"I'm-a scared of her..." Luigi commented.

"I'm hungry..." Nana said. "Hey, Ashley. Wanna go now?" she asked. The witch rolled her eyes but got off Pokemon Trainer Y nevertheless. "Haha, you're a good friend. Bye, Ms. Peach!" she said.

Peach smiled. "Stay safe, kids." They disappeared from the room.

Now the remaining members were her, Bowser, Luigi, Rosalina, Pokemon Trainer Y, and the Mii.

"...does anyone have a good sensible topic they would like to bring up?" Peach asked.

Bowser raised his hand.

Sighing, Peach stared at her frequent captive. "Yes, Bowser?"

"I would like to make a point that you look really pretty today, Peach!" he roared passionately.

Peach stared at him. Then she blushed. "O-okay.. that is somewhat civilized, I s-supposed..." she replied and turned back to the table. _Damn, I wasn't expecting that,_ she thought. _Bowser's a lot clever than I thought..._

"And that's all, I guess." Bowser laughed.

Sighing, Peach retained her composure and put her hands together. "Well then, if there is nobody else who wishes to discuss anything, let's enjoy the rest of our session meditating in peace. Is everyone fine with that?" she asked. They all nodded. "Good. Thank you all for attending this session again. Let's wait the remaining four minutes."

And then the room was plunged into silence, with only the noise of tea-sipping audible to anyone's ears.

"...I wonder if vegetables taste good," Bowser wondered out loud by accident.

Peach sighed.


	13. Simple Exchange

**13: Simple Exchange**

During the dead of the night, there was almost nothing to be heard or seen within the dark blue shade covering the entire mansion. Nobody was walking around in the hallways, nobody was staying up partying, and most of all, nobody was stirring up some stupid brawl over stupid things.

But then... something crept through the hallways silently, only leaving noises of something slippery or slimy.

Its sharp arms gently tapped against the walls of the bedrooms of the Smashers.

Taking a turn, the huge parasitic creature crawled onto the walls and then onto the ceiling, moving in a circular path until it reached a dead end.

At the end, a girl was standing.

The beast, facing her, growled.

She smiled. "Good girl. I have what you want, as usual," she whispered. The girl took out a container labelled _Parasytamol_. The jar was half-filled with a mysterious glowing light-green substance. As the creature opened its mouth to receive it, she poured it into the beast's jaw. It closed and seemed to savor the liquid.

Then, vibrating with unknown emotions, the creature tensed and the orifice at the end of its tail opened wider. The girl smiled and went to observe the tail.

A smaller variant of the creature, perhaps its offspring or something of that sort, emerged from the opening. After it was shot out onto the ground, another object appeared. The girl smile as the cupped her hands below the orifice of the tail, a bright shiny ball plopping onto her hands. "That's good..." she said. "You're doing fine..."

After a few seconds, a second ball quickly plopped out onto her hands, albeit smaller in size.

She patted the beast, satisfied. "That's good enough. Thanks again as always," she said.

The creature seemed to roar happily as a response.

The girl ran up to the creature's head and whispered to its ears, "I'll be counting on you for more of these like usual..."

Nodding in consent, the creature turned around and crawled back to where it came from- Frigate Orpheon. Its small spawn followed the Parasite Queen back to its new den.

Waving bye, Ashley smiled. "Pleased to do business with you," she whispered to herself as she clutched onto her newly gained pearls.


	14. The Sweetest Things in Life

**14: The Sweetest Things in Life**

Nana wondered what it was that made her so attracted to her adopted brother.

Was it how adorable he looked when he was excited?

Was it how goofy and idiotic he is?

Was it how he was so energetic even in the hardest times?

No matter how much time she spent thinking about it, nothing comes to her mind.

Why _did_ she fall for him?

She didn't care how wrong it may seem. They weren't blood-related anyways. Having lived with her grandmother since birth, she discovered Popo one day while on a hike to recover the stolen vegetables. The boy had also been chasing the same target as her, so they had their first tag-team mountain-climbing when they were around seven years old. She and her grandmother later discovered, however, how drastically different Popo's life had been compared to hers.

While she had the comfort of being with someone who loves her and vice versa, the blue Ice Climber had been alone from the start. His parents were killed by an explosion that had seemingly occurred years ago- the explosion had been known for causing the disappearance of the Topi seals, as well. Nobody understood the phenomenon very well, but soon after that the new Topis appearedi in the form of small white yetis. While Nana had a place to return to, Popo had to live in the wild and fend for himself.

And he wasn't an intelligent one, too. Considering his stupidity and jolly personality, it baffled the girl and her grandmother how he even managed to survive this far.

Therefore, her grandmother adopted the blue Ice Climber. They had become siblings now- but that never stopped the growing feelings she had. Eventually they labeled themselves a couple and started dating in whatever way was possible to date in a world of ice and wilderness.

Nobody had any problems with that, of course. They weren't real siblings. They weren't blood-related.

But the problem was something else that bothered her.

Maybe she didn't love him, sometimes she thought. Maybe it was her unconsciously pitying him. Maybe she was just confused.

Sometimes, the thought of love itself confused the heck out of her.

Was it really this difficult just for her to simply date her adopted brother?

While she was so lost in thought, her brother-slash-lover ran up to her. "Hey, Nana! Nana!" he yelled. "I just realized something! You know how snow is edible since we tried eating them long ago and nothing happened? Well," Popo began with a smirk, "I was thinking we could have Peach make a snow pizza! And share it with everyone! How about that?"

Nana blinked. Then she chuckled. "Oh, Popo... sure, whatever suits you."

"Yaaaay! Let's go tell her now!" the boy said and excitedly ran off to find the princess, forgetting that snow melts when heated.

The pink Ice Climber decided to push her worries back into the deep corner of her mind.

 _Oh well, who cares?_ She smiled and followed after him. _I just love him so much, that's all I care._


	15. Silent Night

**15: Silent Night**

If anyone wanted to brag about deadly experiences, Falco would laugh at their faces.

Because he knew that nobody had actually faced as much risk as he did.

During the night where everyone should be asleep, he courageously types on his laptop. Despite his roommate being Fox and Wolf, he wasn't afraid of secretly doing whatever he likes doing. The chances of waking them up were great and risky, but that didn't stop him.

He opened an incognito Chrome tab, and typed something into the HTML bar.

The browser automatically did a Google search of his inquiry.

Clicking a few times, he smiled as a new screen popped up. "Marvelous..." he whispered.

What he searched up was a video of avian sexual reproduction.

He didn't have any earbuds and took the risk of playing the video on really low volume. There was some sort of romantic music in the background, but he was more focused on the action itself. Falco panted as he saw two birds in the video get together.

The male bird got on top of the female bird. A chirp. Then the female adjusted her tail so it uncovered her cloaca. The male then, stirring a bit, rubbed its cloaca with-

Suddenly, just as Falco was letting out a really quiet squeal, a knock came from the door. He almost jumped and screamed, quickly pausing the video.

Turning his head to the door, his beak was gritting like teeth gritted. However that works.

 _Who the hell could it be!?_ he wondered. The avian got up and put his hand on the door handle.

He pushed the door open and paled.

Falco was greeted with a giant octopus face of pure darkness.

" _ **BEEP BEEEEP.**_ _(GO TO SLEEP.)_ "

He didn't process even the beeps, however, as at the moment, in the dark cold atmosphere of the night, Falco only realized one thing.

A giant frickin' octopus of dark magic was in front of him.

And he let out a blood curdling scream that woke the entire mansion up.


	16. A-Z with Duck Hunt Duo

**16: A-Z with Duck Hunt Duo**

The Duck Hunt Duo didn't really do much in a normal everyday life at the Smash Mansion. The two wakes up, does any business they need, heads to the cafeteria for food, takes naps, then food, then observing others, then food, then sleeps. To be frank, they were one of the least productive Smashers in the mansion, and probably the least out of that group. But to be fair, they _are_ simply animals suddenly brought to a world of fighting.

As the duo sat there in front of its room, watching others pass by with small greetings, its mind wandered endlessly about random things.

For today, each tried to link the human language's alphabet with whatever they could think of. Mewtwo had told them telepathically that it was a more entertaining way to pass time.

A... Aran was a rather soft lady. From time to time, she shows her cute side and plays with the kids or the Duck Hunt Duo. The dog liked her.

A... Apples, especially the Perfect Apple, the duck loved. Too bad for that green dinosaur Yoshi, the duck managed to swoop it before he could steal it from the duck.

B... Bowser Junior was, for some reason, scared of the dog. It wasn't sure why. Perhaps he thinks it would bite? Now that wasn't really true...

B... Birds. Being a bird is awesome. The duck was extremely proud to be a clever, cunning aquatic bird. Truth be told, it looks down on the other Smashers.

C... Captain Falcon provides great bones. The dog wasn't sure where he keeps getting those bones, but it appreciates it greatly. You go, Captain!

C... Charms are dangerous. The other day, the duck saw Samus using her charms to get Snake to do a task he was too lazy to do despite being assigned it. Dangerous.

D... Diddy Kong and Kirby played together a lot. Sometimes they invite the dog to play with them. Naturally, the dog wasn't one to refuse. They _are_ pretty fun.

D... Ducks are the best. They are the number one creatures. If one can't defeat the duck, that establishes the hierarchy pretty well.

E... Enterprise. The dog remembered hearing that word somewhere. It came from that weird evil-looking man in a purple cloak, with shades. Really tall, too.

E... Explosions weren't really its thing, but the duck remembers accidentally setting off some dynamites Wario had been holding. It was marvelous.

F... Fox wasn't someone the dog interacted with at all. But it knew right away from sigh... Fox was definitely a trustworthy comrade.

F... Flight. The power of flight was awesome. The duck sometimes gets annoyed by that angel Pit, whining about how he wanted to fly. Silly angel.

G... Guys who find it good to commit foul deeds were terrible. The dog found it his responsibility to apprehend them or stop them before it escalated any more.

G... God was a mysterious being. The sky was so vast, yet it is so empty. Who created this world? Who created this tournament? The duck wonders.

H... Harmony was something the dog enjoys. From time to time, either the kids or the women of the mansion sings together randomly, so the dog goes to listen.

H... Happiness was something everyone wished for. Doctor Mario was not happy with people being injured. But he doesn't stop working. The duck finds it stupid.

I... Ivysaur almost looks like a dog to the dog. A green dog, perhaps. But she- apparently it was a girl- has tentacles. The dog doesn't know what to feel about that.

I... Ike was a pretty cool guy. One of the few Smashers the duck could stay with. When the dog wasn't anywhere nearby, the duck stays on Ike's head or shoulder.

J... Jigglypuff is good at singing. The dog likes her voice. It falls asleep while listening, but truthfully because it sounds amazing and makes it sleepy.

J... Jigglypuff is just... so... boring... the duck can't... stay... zzz... zz...

K... Kirby was a mysterious being. Where does all the food go? The dog is really baffled, and envies his never ending stomach capacity.

K... King Dedede was a penguin. Penguins are ducks. The duck greatly respects King Dedede and hopes to become someone as strong as him. Keep it up, your majesty!

L... Love is easy. The dog knows how to identify love. Samus loves Pikachu. The kids love all their friends. The dog loves everyone. Peach loves tea. So Simple.

L... Luck was something the people of the mansion could use more of. The duck pities those who keeps getting sent to the infirmary.

M... Mario was one of the few people almost everyone looked up to as a leader. The dog gazes at the plumber's direction in awe. What an awesome man he is.

M... Music was just music. Just that. The duck found no excitement from it. It was just... something. Simple stuff. The duck rolls its eyes.

N... New Year was weird. The dog saw people do all sorts of weird things. Bowser was singing. Rosalina was kissing Zelda. Master Hand was cosplaying. Soooo weird.

N... New Year was fun. The duck enjoyed pranking a lot of the people there. It stole Link's hat. It stole Mario's hat. It stole Wario's hat. Yes, it likes stealing... yes.

O... Ocarinas were mysterious to the dog. How did Link manage to play it so well? It has heard others trying to play it too, but nobody could beat Link. No sir.

O... Oval shapes reminded the duck of eggs. Did it ever lay eggs? It had never laid one yet, so probably not. But the duck is then forced to think about its future family.

P... Presents are something the dog really loves. Presents were awesome. Everyone likes presents. Whenever it can, it tries to give presents to its fellow Smashers.

P... Pain wasn't something the duck was used to. It was more used to _inflicting_ pain onto one's pride. But when it gets hurt in brawls, it doesn't like it.

Q... Questions, the dog cannot resist. Who's a good boy? Why, of course it was the dog! The dog knows it is faithful and never mocks people. ...unless they miss. Hehe.

Q... Quirks were hard to identify, but the duck silently observing everyone served its purpose. The duck knows a lot about everyone. It waits silently in the shadows.

R... Roughhouse behavior wasn't acceptable by the dog. Say that giant turtle monster for a change. Always so aggressive, always such a roughhouse... ugh.

R... RWBY was a show the kids liked watching. There was a character called Qrow who could become a crow. The duck watches too sometimes. He was a cool guy.

S... Snake stinks. The dog couldn't stand the odd smell it gets whenever it walks near the mercenary. It's like... it didn't know how to describe it. But Snake stinks.

S... Sunshine warmed the duck's body. It felt nice. It felt... relaxing. It feels even better if there was also complete silence and peace.

T... Training is part of Samus' everyday routine. Sometimes the dog holds the towel for her and observes the woman train. She would then pet it with her soft hands.

T... Tomatoes. That young Smasher Kirby seems to have a stash of it hidden away. The duck doesn't know where he keeps it, but it is grateful for Kirby for sharing.

U... Usefulness. Despite its somewhat slow pace at going with the flow, the dog enjoys serving a purpose to its friends and would gladly help with anything.

U... Until the tournament ends, the duck doesn't mind spending its time as a fighter, it supposes. There were some rather enjoyable moments, yeah.

V... Vases weren't really a favorite of the dog. Sometimes it accidentally breaks vases, and Princess Peach would scold it. Vases are terrible.

V... Ventriloquists are interesting. When the duck observes one, the mouth doesn't move. But the puppet talks. It is really intriguing.

W... Wario stinks too. Not just Snake. Wario smells like garlic and farts. In fact, he loves garlics and farting. The dog doesn't like him. He stinks more than Snake.

W... Wigs are amusing. The duck saw that swordsman Link wear a female wig once. Zelda liked it so much she made him crossdress from time to time. Hilarious.

Y... Yveltal was a scary bird. It can cause death or petrification or something. The dog only saw it in TV, but when it sees it on the Pokemon stage, it fears the legendary.

Y... Yawning, the duck notices its vision start to blur. Not that it cared. Sleepiness was taking over. Not that it cared. It sure could go for some rest.

Z... zzz... The two, with nothing fun to do, dozed off and lay in front of their room, asleep. Smashers passing by give a small chuckle and proceed with their lives.


	17. For My Queen

**17: For My Queen**

* * *

Review Response, Johnathen: Sure. Your request will be Chapter 18 (next chapter) representing 11th of January, then.

* * *

Shiida hummed as she stroked the strings of her ukulele. The girl wasn't used to music yet but after seeing Jigglypuff singing, she got curious and decided to consult Link. Why Link? Because he was great with music, what with his entire series having a lot of music involved. Toon Link also fetched in a bit explanation to her as well, although his explanation had been so jumbled up that she didn't really understood a thing. (But she gave him a kiss on the forehead as thanks. Tetra slapped him afterwards while he was dazed.)

For beginners, after talking with Master Hand, she received this wooden ukulele from him.

Master hand had joked that, if she became a great musician, he might allow her to make her own music and apply them to battle stages... but to his surprise, that had gotten the queen riled up. She had even considered quitting her determination to become a Smasher alongside Marth and instead write music.

Now she had spent several hours practicing er skills, humming and singing along to basic songs she played from reading a booklet.

Gathered in the living room, sitting in front of her were few supportive Smashers who didn't mind wasting their free time. Link and Marth were obvious ones who listened to her playing, the former telling her any ways to improve and the latter simply enjoying watching his beloved queen play. Snake decided to spend his time listening in as well, and oddly, Wario. Zelda and Lucina were also relaxing under the tune of her song.

"Hey, you're doing pretty well there," Link commented after she finished playing her umpteenth song. "It sounded pretty pleasant. Nice job, Shiida."

She bowed to him. "Thank you, Link. I couldn't have done it without your help teaching," she said. Then she added, "and also for helping me get my own guitar from Master Hand..."

"It's an ukulele," Link pointed out.

Shiida chuckled. "Ah, yes. That."

Marth clapped his hands. "That was splendid, Shiida!" he said. "The way you played that song was brilliant! If you go at this pace," he said and began shedding tears of joy and pride, "you might become a goddess soon... even if you're already a goddess to me..."

His wife blushed and went to hug him. "Aw, sweetheart..." she said with an embarrassed voice.

"Pft. Lovebirds..." Wario said as he picked his nose. Both Marth and Link sent him a glare. "...b-but it was-a nice, yeah. Well-a done, lady."

Shiida nodded. "Thank you, Wario."

"That was marvelous!" Zelda complimented the girl.

Laughing, Shiida waved her hand dejectedly. "No, I'm sure it wasn't that amazing..." she began.

The Hylian princess cut her off, "No, no, it was amazing! See, even Lucina here fell victim to your song!" she said and pointed to the said warrior... who was asleep with a smile on her face. "D'aw, she looks so peaceful... enjoyed your song a lot, see?"

Seeing the warrior asleep, everyone cheered and clapped for the Queen of Altea, causing her to flush even redder.

"W-well, um," she struggled to say anything under the applause, "thank you everyone... I'll keep practicing and improving!"

"Good, that's the spirit!" Link exclaimed. "And we'll be here to support you to the very end. Ain't that right, Marth?"

The blue-haired prince-slash-king smiled and nodded. "Anything for you, my queen."

Another round of _d'awww_ -s as the two hugged again.


	18. A Fleeting Heartbeat

**18: A Fleeting Heartbeat**

"Oh, boy! Oh, boy!" Bowser Junior exclaimed as he rushed through the hallways. "This is going to be great, Papa's going to love this!" In his hand was a model of Princess Peach. The other day, Peach herself went shopping and some kids wanted to tag along to find something to buy. Bowser Junior had went with her, along with Ness and Popo. He discovered this treasure as a "build your character" toy box in some toy store they passed by.

It was like those Japanese robot models that Ike talked about from time to time, something like 'grandpa'.

But rather than a robot, the store sold a variety of models based on the Smashers themselves, a few even on the non-Smashers there.

The moment the small reptile saw the model of Peach, he knew; his father would praise him lots and be super proud.

He spent hours building this alone. It was definitely worth it. Now, not focusing on his surroundings, he was on his way to his- and his father's- room when all of a sudden...

"Eek!" a voice screamed as he turned a corner.

 _Bam!_

The impact sent the two flying apart. Bowser Junior closed his eye from the pain, not knowing what the heck had just happened. His butt shell slammed on the ground, the poor Koopa unable to get up. "Aah! I'm stuck!"

"O-oh my! I'm, I'm sorry!" a voice cried. "L-let me help you up!"

Growling in frustration, Bowser Junior waited as the female voice's ownerk pulled him up. He didn't waste a second to try and find what he had dropped, however- and he let out a scream of despair the moment he saw his Princess Peach model on the ground, shattered broken into pieces. "Nooo! My model of Mama Peach!" he exclaimed.

The girl he bumped into once again wailed. "I-I'm very sorry! I'm sorry! It's my fault for not looking!"

"Yeah, it sure is your fault!" he roared, turning to her. Then he froze.

A slightly taller rabbit with peach skin stood in front of him. A small blue floating creature was levitating besides her, but his eyes were more focused on the female rabbit. The rabbit girl's ears flowed down to her waist.

Left in awe, he could only continue staring as she kept on apologizing. "I- I promise I'll make it up to you somehow! Um," she frowned and started fidgeting her hands nervously, looking around. "M-maybe, I could work for you or pay Smash Coins or something... I, I'm not sure, um, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..."

"...w-well," the reptilian murmured and looked away with a blush, "I... don't mind it that much. Meh."

She let out a sigh of relief. "I-is that so? Thank you for forgiving someone like me, thank you..." Then, looking at a small watch on her wrist, she screamed. "O-oh no! I was supposed to meet with Mister Sonic and Mister Shadow! Oh no, I'm late!" Panicking, she turned and started running off.

"W-wait!" Bowser Junior called, halting the rabbit girl. "Can we, um, can we brawl together sometimes!?" he blurted out. "M-maybe we can be on a team or something, maybe later today or t-tomorrow!?"

Cream turned around and stared at him, a smile on her face. "I- oh my gosh, you are sweet!" she exclaimed. "I- I'm really honored by your invitation, b-but I'm not a Smasher..." she told him, the two frowning. "I'm just a mere trophy character from Mister Sonic's series..."

"Oh..." the prince of Koopas said, sighing. "W-well then... um... I'm sorry for wasting your time..."

"N-no, no! It's alright!" She petted his head, flashing a gentle smile. "I really, really appreciate the thought! B-but I must go now, so, um... see you later?" she said.

Bowser Junior nodded slowly, mesmerized by her adorableness. The girl giggled and quickly ran off.

He stared at her direction, watching her disappear. "...wow."

"What's the matter, kid?" Snake asked as he walked past the reptilian.

"I think this place is awesome!" Bowser Junior exclaimed.

"...?" The mercenary had no idea what he was talking about, but shrugged it off.


	19. Anime Society I

**19: Anime Society I**

Link looked left. Nobody was here. Link looked right. Nobody was here. Link looked in front. A door was here.

There was a sign hanging in front of the door, labelled "ANM404".

He knocked twice on the door.

Then he waited a few seconds in silence before it creaked open with, an annoying sound accompanying it.

Falco stood in front of him. "Link?" he asked incredulously.

The Hylian let out a nervous laugh. "Heya, Falco..." he greeted nervously. "Do you happen to know, uh, where Robin might be?"

Laughing, Falco patted the swordsman. "Hey, buddy. It's alright. We all know why you're here." With an assuring tone, he calmed the swordsman and gestured him to follow the bird. "The entrance to the secret room is at the back. Come on."

Sighing with relief, he followed the space bird and they ended up in a mysterious hallway.

"...Falco, you're in the group too?" Link asked.

The bird coughed as if to divert attention, but eventually nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh." The two remained silent for a while. "...what anime are you a fan of?" he asked.

"Don't tell Fox, and especially not Wolf." Link nodded. Falco leaned towards his ear and whispered, "...Love Live."

"Oh, so you're a Love Liver."

"Yeah."

The two continued walking. They eventually reached a room containing few more people than Link even expected.

Wario, Lucina, Robin, Ike, and Samus were making themselves at home.

"Whoa... didn't expect even this many people," Link commented.

Falco chuckled. "I know, right?"

The blonde warrior noticed the fat plumber nearby. "Wario, I didn't know you like anime."

Picking his nose, the garlic lover scowled at him. "I don't." He pointed to the center of the room. "This room is-a my secret nightclub for anyone in this-a mansion to relax-a during the night. These idiots took over and made it some-a weird anime thing that happens during afternoon."

"Oh."

Then, he muttered under his breath, " _damn weeaboos._ "

"What did you say!?" Ike and Falco jumped into the conversation, enraged.

"I-a said-"

"Say no more, villain!" Ike brandished his Ragnell and swung it at Wario in pure rage. "I shall make you eat my sword!"

"I-in what context may I ask, oh great Radiant Hero of Legends!?" Lucina asked with a flushed face, quickly snapping her head in their direction.

"..." Ike had no response for that. _Perhaps bringing Lucina here that one time was a mistake..._

As Wario started dodging attacks from Ike and Falco, Link looked at someone sitting in front of the TV. "...Ganondorf!?"

The said warlock turned around in shock. "L-Link!?" he roared. "What are you doing here!?"

Link shrugged. "Just... planning on joining...?" he said and frowned. "Didn't know you were into these things..."

"You... don't you dare tell anyone!" Ganondorf demanded. "This will ruin _my_ reputation!"

"It's already dead anyways," Samus scoffed. The warlock ignored her.

The Hylian grinned. "A million Smash Coins and I'll stay quiet."

The warlock paled. "I don't have that much! How about, uh, five thousand?"

Link sighed. "Hundred thousand."

Ganondorf scowled. "Ten thousand?"

"Seventy thousand."

"Twenty thousand..."

"Fifty thousand?"

"...I'll just give you all I have."

Link smirked. "Deal."

"I fucking hate you, Link."

"Ditto."


	20. Swaggity Swag Koopa King

**20: Swaggity Swag Koopa King**

Bowser strutted down the hallway, humming happily. He wore a white magician hat and a white fancy suit and basically, he looked fancy and lit.

The others who passed by him gave him weird stares. "Uh, Bowser... you okay?" Wolf asked.

He turned to the lupine. "Hm? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

Wolf coughed. "Well... you know... you in a fancy suit and all..." Bowser seemed to smile upon him recognizing the suit. "...didn't think you'd be so delusional to go on an imaginary date."

He did a spit take. "Whuh? Wolf, go to hell. I'm not going crazy."

The lupine scratched his head before sighing in relief. "Okay, that's good. So... what's the occasion?" the space wolf asked.

Grinning, Bowser grabbed a walking Mario and wrapped his left arm around the man's shoulder, confusing the Italian plumber. "Well, let me tell you then!" he said.

"...why are you friendly with Mario?" Wolf asked.

"Oh, he's just-a super duper excited," Mario replied.

"For what?"

Bowser then held up his smartphone, showing the lupine the video of the Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017. "For this, you dumb chicken nugget!"

Wolf sweat dropped. "C-chicken nugget..."

Pointing to the screen, Bowser let out an excited roar. "Me and this fella is coming back to Nintendo Switch, naturally! But this thing, you see," he said, "is Super Mario Odyssey!"

"Odyssey?" the lupine voiced, scratching his head. "Is that like... Super Mario Galaxy 3, or... what?"

Mario shrugged. "It seems-a like that, I guess." Then he punched the air happily. "We're returning again, with the usual-a plot of Bowser kidnapping the princess! Another exciting adventure for-a me!"

Bowser laughed tauntingly. "That's not the best part though!" he said. "Look!" he exclaimed and pointed to the screen again.

The video was paused on the scene where Bowser was flashing some cool damn pose, throwing his white swag magician hat.

Wolf stared. "Wow. Fancy suit," he commented.

"I know, right!?" Filled with content, Bowser turned around and continued skipping down the hallway, slightly disgusting the two. "Swaggity swag me is back in action! I'm going to be the Swag King of Koopas!"

When he disappeared into the distant, Wolf shivered. "Ugh. Talk about overusing that word..."

Mario nodded in agreement, but he couldn't blame the giant Koopa for being excited.

Nobody noticed his fist clutched tightly in excitement.


	21. A Mix of Punch and Coffee

**21: A Mix of Punch and Coffee**

* * *

Johnathen: I'll write those some other time. Also, I hope you don't mind them being one-sided ships.

* * *

"Hey, Master Hand?" Toon Linkasked the giant right hand of creation. "If I asked you to describe the mansion in a sentence... how would you phrase it?"

The sentient being turned to the young Hylian, confused. "Now what brought _that_ up?" he asked.

The boy shrugged. "I was talking with Mewtwo recently... and we were watching Samus beat up Captain Falcon for tripping and accidentally touching her boobies." The hand seemed to snicker at this, but he ignored it. "So then, Mewtwo was all like..."

 _The self-proclaimed strongest Pokemon in the universe shook his head. "If I had to describe this place, it'd be pure chaos and stupidity..."_

Toon Link's impression was pure adorableness, as a passing Jigglypuff squealed at him for a few seconds.

"Hahaha, of course he'd be like that," Master Hand said.

"But that's not all," the boy continued. "I later went to ask Mister Mario, and he said..."

 _The plumber scratched his head. "I would-a say... a magical place of rivalry and-a friendship! The best kind there is," he finally suggested to the boy._

"And then, when I went to ask Link himself..."

 _"Well, damn, this is hard..." the grown up Hylian muttered. "Fuck it, I don't..." he froze after realizing he cussed in front of Toon Link. "I, uh... HYAH! HAAH!" He ran._

"I'll tell Zelda about that later," Master Hand said. "Anyone else?"

Toon Link nodded. "Just before coming here, I asked Samus after she calmed down..."

 _"Well, if I had to put that in words..." the bounty hunter said as she rubbed her chin. After a few seconds... "Perhaps 'my perfect cup of coffee'? Since I can kind of relax here at this mansion...? I don't know, I'm bad at thinking of these things._ _"_

Toon Link sighed. "I just can't really understand what they suggested that much." Then he raised a finger. "But then I thought, what about the creator of the tournaments himself? That'd be interesting to know."

The right hand seemed to stop floating for a while. "Well, I suppose if I had to put it in words..." His voice faded off and he began thinking.

His fellow Smasher's curiosity seemed to be intense as Master Hand swore he could feel the gaze burn through his glove.

"...well, how about... _a mix of punch and coffee?_ " he eventually suggested.

"Punch and coffee...?" Toon Link frowned. "That's... not really any better."

Master Hand laughed. "Yeah, sounds confusing, probably." But then he patted the boy with his index finger. "But, well... I view this place and the tournament as something I can really enjoy." He seemed to gaze out the window of the hallway. "When I think of 'brawl'... I am given a happy picture of my precious Smashers and their lives here, their happiness and the such." Then he turned back to Toon Link, raising a finger. "Heck, I owe them a lot. I've never told anyone this, but Captain Falcon was actually the one who suggested starting a tournament for the universe's heroes and villains alike!" he said.

"Captain Falcon!?" Toon Link exclaimed. "Wait... punch... Falcon Punch?" he asked. "A pun? Really?"

"Haha, indeed. It may seem stupid." Master Hand patted him again. "But coupling the entire aspect of enjoyment and brawls, along with relaxation and peace within this mansion, I imagine someone enjoying their first cup of coffee in a new morning."

"...I imagine Samus from that," the Hylian intervened.

"Indeed. During my early days, Samus was a fine counselor, calming me down and telling me everything will be alright, and she listened to a lot of my worries." He sighed happily. "She's a fine Smasher and truly makes herself comfortable at the mansion."

"So then... punch and coffee..." Toon Link muttered, scratching his head. Then his eyes widened. "Brawls and relaxation!"

"That's right, boy." Laughing, Master Hand flashed him a giant thumbs up. "I guess that's how I view this place, there you have it."

The Hylian sighed. "Well, at least I understand your phrase," he said. "I'm satisfied enough."

"That's good. Do you have anything on your schedule today?" the right hand then asked, starting a random conversation.

"Well... no, not really." Toon Link then smiled. "Hey, want to see how a mix of punch and coffee would taste like with me? I'm curious thanks to you."

The hand chuckled, regret deep in his mind. "Haha, sure."


	22. Spreading Smiles in the Hallway

**22: Spreading Smiles in the Hallway**

* * *

Marth strolled down the hall, humming a tune his wife Shiida had practiced on her ukulele. He truly wished her best of luck from the bottom of his heart. What a goddess she was, he thought- maybe he should just stop caring about the world and focus his life entirely on her.

He passed a frowning Fox. "Hey, Fox. What's the matter?"

The space vulpine sighed. "Well, I got two tickets to the special Mii Plaza Amusement Park that opens only for a week every month, and I planned on inviting Krystal there."

Having guessed what probably went wrong, Marth rubbed his hairless chin. "You... lost one of the tickets?"

Fox nodded. "Yeah, kinda. Wario ate one of them for no reason."

 _Why the heck would...?_ Marth shook that question deep into his mind and searched inside his pockets. He grinned and pulled out one ticket for the exact same place the vulpine had wanted to go. "Here you go, buddy."

His comrade dropped his jaw. "How did you-"

"I won three at a local festival in the Mii Plaza Town yesterday. Was thinking of bringing Shiida, and couldn't think of anyone else to bring."

Almost brought to tears with joy, Fox accepted Marth's hands and generosity. "Fucking hell, Marth! Thank you, you are a life saver! How many Smash Coins you want?"

The prince laughed. "No need, man. Just take it and have a blast with your girl!"

His smile widening further, Fox wiped away a tear of gratefulness. "I, I'll never forget this debt, you angelic prince! Adios and thank you!"

Hurrying away, Fox held the prince's spare ticket in his hands and waved it around while calling for his lover Krystal.

Smiling in relief, Marth gave himself a mental pat on the back. _Good job helping a fellow comrade, Marth!_ He chuckled to himself and continued on his hall stroll.

The next person he came upon was Lucina, his impersonator from his universe who seemed to currently be looking for something.

"What're you up to, Lucy?" he asked the clone.

Lucina yelped and faced him, sighing in relief upon registering his face. "Oh, it was just you, Sir Marth."

 _J...'just'...?_ He winced slightly at those words, but paid no attention to it. "Hey, Lucy."

"P-please do not call me with such a casually embarrassing nickname..." the girl replied, turning slightly red.

Marth chuckled. "How about Lulu?"

"..." Sighing, Lucina ignored his teasing. "I was tasked with delivering some freshly printed photographs to Sir Pit, a job entrusted by Miss Palutena herself. However," she paused and emptied her pockets to show her mistake, "I'm afraid I may have lost them at some point. I assume they fell out somehow..."

"O-ohh, I see..." the prince said.

Her face twisted with worry and despair. "To have failed such an important task so easily... I am ashamed of myself. I am sorry, Miss Palutena..."

Scratching his head, Marth patted her. "What pictures were they?" he asked.

"Apparently pictures of Smashers during the New Year Party, taken by Sir Luigi..."

He smiled. "Oh, so that's what they were." Not noticing her give him a confused look, he dug inside his pockets again and pulled out an envelope that clearly contained many photos. Then he pulled two more envelopes, equal in amount of photos inside. How they all fit inside his pocket made no sense to the swordswoman, but she didn't care much about that while a smile swept across her face. "I saw these on a table in the Printing Room. ROB said it was extras left by a printing error, and that Palutena left before he could tell her about those mistaken extras."

"S-Sir Marth!" Lucina cried and hugged him happily. "Thank you so much, I believe I am indeed saved now!"

"Y-you're welcome, Lulu." Handing the envelopes over to her, he rubbed the clone's head and grinned. "Don't lose them again, hehe."

She nodded with hurry, wiping tears away. "I-I must say it probably got lost when I bumped into S-Sir Wario..."

 _W-Wario again...?_ he thought.

"...but I'll make sure not t d-drop them this time!" With determination, Lucina shook the prince with delight. "T-thank you again, Sir Ma... no, Prince Marth!"

Chuckling, Marth scratched his head. A photo then dropped from the pocket on his other side. The two noticed this, and the prince bent down to grab it. "I don't remember any other photos... whoa?"

It was a photo of Palutena in her natural beauty, smiling for the camera. In the background were several other inhabitants of the mansion, not noticing Luigi's hiding skills.

"T-tha... that is-!" Lucina shrieked, turning red.

"Hm? Oh, this?" Marth inquired. "It's probably something Pally didn't want anyone keeping." He sighed, and looked at it again. "It was also on the table in the Printing Room. ROB told me she said to trash it, but why he didn't dispose of it with his laser... I'm not really sure." He shrugged. "Maybe he took it too literally and planned on putting it in a trash can... well, I told him I could do it for him so he handed it over to me."

"P-Prince Marth..." Lucina whispered, looking away. "M-maybe... if you are busy, I- I could... d-d-dispose of it for you... yeah."

Marth frowned, not noticing her extremely red face. "You sure? I'm rather free anyways, so..."

She suddenly grabbed him tightly, seemingly panicking. "N-no, no! It's fine! T-think of this as... yes, as a way to repay my d-debt to you for helping me! Y-yeah!"

He shrugged. "Alright then, here you go."

"A-Addis Ababa!" With a happy squeal, she slowly examined the paper and then slipped it into her pocket. "W-with this, my day has been completed."

She began walking away, a blissful look on her innocent face.

"I thank you, Prince Marth. May you live a long successful life."

Waving her farewell, he contentedly continued his walk through the hallway.

Suddenly, Lucas came running down.

"L-Lucas! Why are you crying?" the prince asked.

"M-mister, Marth! I, um..." the boy struggled to say, before crying again.

He took out a handkerchief and wiped the boy's tears away. "Calm down, Lucas. Now, when you can, tell me what's the matter?"

It took a few seconds before Lucas went from wailing to sniffling. He pointed to the direction he came from- the cafeteria room. "Y-you, you see? I- I was just, um, eating my breakfast n-n-normally, until that m-meanie Wario came and farted on my food!"

Marth sighed mentally. _What the hell, Wario?_ He petted the boy's head. "I see. Don't worry, Lucas, I have a score to settle with him anyways."

Feeling calmer now, and hopeful, the blonde boy stared. "R-really?"

Flashing the boy a thumbs-up, the prince got up and began walking towards the cafeteria.

 _I guess bringing smiles to people isn't such a bad thing,_ he mused.


	23. Something Crazy (1)

**23: Something Crazy (1)**

* * *

"I'm telling you!" a voice shouted frantically, itching with destruction. "We've been dead for 4 months and 22 days! And another day!"

"Yeah, it's-a true, guys!" another voice chimed in, reeking of Italian and garlic.

Most people ignored them and walked by, but it was certainly odd enough to garner some people's attention and curiosity.

Falco laughed and nudged his fellow Star Fox ex-fighter, Wolf. "Oh, man. They've finally started doing drugs, haven't they? Priceless."

The vulpine scoffed and swatted the avian's wing off him. "Don't touch me, Kentucky."

"Wow, rude."

At another area, Peach was clutching her head with frustration while her friend Daisy patted her back. "Now, now. Take it easy... can't blame crazy people for being crazy."

The princess of the Mushroom Kingdom rolled her eyes. "Hearing Wario's and Crazy Hand's bullshi... _crap_ isn't something I want in the morning though."

Crazy Hand, who was in the middle of his nonsensical rambling, dropped his protest-like signs and pointed at the blonde. "You be quiet, Apple! You may not know it, but our universe itself was almost left to rot by the beings above!"

Pit heard the last part and, being nearby, tilted his head. "The angels above?" he murmured. "Is that true, Lady Palutena?"

Besides him, the green-haired goddess shrugged. "Never heard anything like that, Pit. I think Crazy's just spewing nonsense."

"Go suck on-a Lucina's teets!" Wario interrupted, flipping the bird at the green-haired goddess.

Pissed, the milk box that Palutena had been sipping from was crushed while she clicked her tongue with annoyance and a slightly red face.

Seconds later, he was gently stuck into the walls of the cafeteria.

"Let's go, Pit."

"O... okay."

The two heavenly duo leaving, Crazy Hand and Wario didn't let that stop their attempted persuasion. They continued shouting their odd claims and waving their signs around.

Marth eventually passed by. "Oh, not this crap again... really, Wario?" he asked. "Yesterday wasn't enough?"

Wario paled slightly, but scoffed. "Girl, you do _not_ -a understand!" he said. "I had-a dream that lasted for-a 4 and a half months! But no time has passed... it's-a crazy, I-a swear!"

The prince of Altea rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it sure is."

Ike snickered. "Drugs, huh? Not good, I tell ya... not at all."

Growling, Wario huffed and ignored them. "This is-a serious! We need-a help with saving the world!"

Crazy Hand did the same. "Something bad will probably happen soon!"

Despite going on for hours, they ended up with crushingly disappointing results.

But that was the point where people would come to remember as the day craziness started...


	24. Something Crazy (2)

**24: Something Crazy (2)**

* * *

It was almost midnight. Ashley took a turn and entered one of the many living rooms. Pac-Man was just about to leave the room, but bumped into her. "A-ah... sorry."

The yellow classic emitted a _waka_ in return, replying to the apology.

"I was just thirsty...?" Ashley noticed something in the hallway, at a nearby room. Sensing something was wrong, Pac-Man turned slightly and the two noticed a tall shady man make his way out of a room, closing it shut. The man, wearing dark shades and a cosmic-themed cape, noticed the two and attempted to make a friendly smile that ended up looking really hideous. He then hurriedly walked or floated away.

The two stared at the leaving Nightmare, then at each other. They then nodded.

Something was definitely suspicious, and if the villain thought he did a good job at faking his innocence, it was just plain terrible acting.

They slowly followed him as not to seem interrogative, quietening their footsteps.

Just as they passed the room that Nightmare had suspiciously left, the faceless Mii walked out the room. Ashley noticed the symbol on the door- it was the men's restroom. She ignored that information, however, and signaled to Pac-Man to keep following the shady villain. As the yellow Smasher nodded, she grabbed the Mii's shoulders.

"H-hey, Mii. Did anything... happen?" she asked with a fierce glare.

The Mii returned her stare with its empty face, shrugging. It moved its hands, trying to convey something to her which she seemed to understand.

She frowned. "Nothing, huh... except quiet whispers. I see..." She scratched her head but smiled. "Thanks, Mii. Go back to sleep now."

Confusedly, it walked away heading towards its bedroom so it can return to sleep.

She stealthily made her way back to the stalking path, following the suspicious villain and catching up with Pac-Man. "...he was talking with someone. In the toilet."

Pac-Man nodded, and prepared a fire hydrant in his hands. She promptly ignored the question regarding where he got it from.

Nightmare suddenly stopped in front of an intersection in the hallway, the two trackers stopping too. He could continue walking forward, or go right. The two waited in anticipation for what he would do... until he looked back at the two with a grin, his evil eyes hidden under his shades.

Ashley's eyes widened. "Get him!" she exclaimed at the same time her feet started running by themselves.

Replying with a _waka_ , Pac-Man nodded and ran alongside her towards the villain, who suddenly floated at maximum speed towards his right path into another hallway.

The two turned the corner and chased after the villain from Kirby's universe. "Fucking suspicious..." Ashley muttered.

Pac-Man tossed the fire hydrant towards Nightmare, but he reflected it with his cape somehow. The classic fighter clicked his tongue and leaned forward, speeding up as well. His witch girl companion couldn't catch up, however, so she stopped running and went the other way.

"I'll find another path!" she said, to which the round yellow ball nodded and continued his chase against Nightmare.

Despite the difficulty of properly tracking the escaping villain in the hallways during the night, Pac-Man managed well and was on his trails for quite some time.

Frustrated, Nightmare didn't know how many minutes passed but he definitely needed to get the yellow nuisance off his tracks. He prepared an energy ball under his cloak and took another turn, planning on turning around to perform a surprise attack. However, Master Hand was suddenly in front of me.

"That's as far as you go, Nightmare." With the seemingly calm announcement, the right hand of creation snapped his fingers... body... thing, and a strong transparent barrier enveloped the villain in a box. Grunting, Nightmare dispelled the energy ball he planned so he can focus on trying to break free, but to no avail.

He noticed Ashley standing behind the master of the mansion. "You...! Son of a..."

Master Hand knocked on the barrier gently. "She did a good job notifying me of suspicious activities," he stated. "If she didn't, you would have gotten away with whatever you were planning. You did well too, Pac-Man."

The classic fighter emitted a happy _waka_ and crossed his arms, glaring at the trapped man in shades.

"Now, Nightmare... Speak," the giant hand said. "It's almost midnight, and I'm not particularly in the mood for games..."

Adjusting his shades, the pale man laughed mockingly. "As if I'd let my plans be ruined now, sir. Surely you jest!"

Snapping his fingers, Master Hand silenced the man through the atmosphere alone. "I'm waiting, Nightmare."

Even then, despite the tension getting worse, he didn't speak.

Sighing, Ashley took out her hand. "I can make him speak."

The giant right hand shook his head... body, however. "There's no point in resorting to villainous methods. He'll speak eventually, I'm su-"

Suddenly, an explosion occurred somewhere in the mansion. The ground shook as small rubble fell outside the hallway, dust fuming the area.

Pac-Man let out surprised _waka_ s while Nightmare grinned.

"W-what's going on?" Ashley asked.

Master Hand turned around and tried to focus. After a few seconds, he tensed. "Mr. Game & Watch has... transformed into the Octopus? Right now...?"

Ashley widened her eyes. "W-without the Smash Ball?"

The three paused and turned back to Nightmare, who was starting to laugh with increasing volume.

 _Waka waka!?_ Pac-Man stomped his foot in an attempt to silence the caged villain, but he didn't stop for a few seconds.

With a grin, Nightmare whispered to Master Hand loud enough for the other two to hear, "I've already done my part, sir."

The clock ticked on, and a bell was struck signifying a new day.


	25. Something Crazy (3)

**25: Something Crazy (3)**

* * *

Black tentacles rampaged through the halls of the usually peaceful mansion, wreaking havoc everywhere.

Unfortunate rooms of nearby Smashers who were sleeping become nothing but rubble, the victims themselves waking up and fleeing in panic.

"What the hell is going on!?" a human Roy, one such unlucky fighter, screamed while clutching onto his bright red nightcap.

"T-that's Mr. Game & Watch, isn't it?" a watching Ike said, standing in a safe zone where the tentacles of darkness couldn't reach.

Loud beeps emitted from the beast, rivaling or even surpassing that of Bowser's roars.

"P-papa! Where are you!?" Bowser Junior yelled towards the rampaging Smasher. He shared the room with his father and Ganondorf, and they were the other unfortunate room who were next to the explosion. Bowser Junior had been visiting another restroom, however, brave enough to go alone.

Rosalina held the small Koopa Prince back. "Young child, it is not safe to go there..."

"B-but papa! He might still be alive in there!" he replied, tears almost bursting from his eyes.

Samus, without her helmet but with armor, shot a blast at the octopus. The energy shot became shredded into nothingness. "Damn it. Game & Watch!" she shouted, trying to get the deranged octopus' attention. "What the heck is the matter!?"

It was useless, however, as he didn't reply with any beeps directed at her. Instead, it roared even louder.

"Well," Ike said with a relieved sigh, "at least they're trapped and can't move... as long as we stay out of range, it'll be fine."

Marth rushed up to the scene, his hands on Falchion. "No, we're not safe yet... he can jab at people by stretching them, like in matches."

"Wait, he can do that!?" Ike exclaimed. Right after he said that, they saw a sharp jab directed at the two. They dodged it in a hurry as the tentacle tip struck past where they would've been had they not fall to the ground. "Holy shit..."

Wasting no time, the Altean Prince struck the tentacle and sliced it off with his sword. "Anyone who can fight, subdue him now!"

Few Smashers gathered around nodded and got into a stance.

"Those who can't, get to safety or go get your weapons!"

The next audience nodded and left to do what they had to.

Samus, meanwhile, prepared another blast but it too was shredded into nothing. "Fuck... nothing works, does it?" she muttered.

"Aran, you're doing fine," Crazy Hand said as he floated up to her.

"Crazy?" she said. "Do you know what's going on?"

The left hand of destruction remained oddly composed, showing no signs of twitching. "It's definitely something bad, alright... I may or may not know the cause," he said and formed a fist, "but I'll explain later." Before Samus could inquire anything, Crazy Hand flung himself at the octopus of darkness, who immediately used all its tentacles to block and keep the hand at bay. "Keep attacking him, his stamina will go out eventually!"

"R-roger. Everyone!" Samus motioned to her fellow Smashers. "Keep attacking! Game & Watch will run out of energy if we keep it up!"

"Got it!" Marth replied and began relaying the instructions to nearby fighters. "You heard her, guys!"

With the collective nods reassuring him, they all began unleashing attacks at the turned-insane Game & Watch. Their attacks seemed useless, however, as the skin of the busy octopus kept regenerating at ease, and projectiles and energy-based attacks simply disintegrated into empty air upon contact.

However, they could slowly notice the decreasing level of rampage that the octopus was displaying.

Mario, who had ran to the scene soon afterwards and gotten the gist of what to do, panted. "Even-a then, doing this for long time is-a rather hard job..."

"Mario! Watch out!" a voice warned. They noticed the octopus of darkness wrap a tentacle around Crazy Hand, catching him off guard and attempting to smash the left hand onto the Smashers.

It was really fast, surprisingly, and Mario- along with several others- were about to be crushed into the ground and trophified, but a muscular yellow arm stuck out the rubble. Suddenly, they found themselves alive and recognized their savior.

"Bowser!" many exclaimed.

"Papa!" Bowser Junior cheered. "I knew you would be alive!"

Grinning and holding the restricted hand up, the King of Koopas roared at the octopus. "There's no way I'd go down easily like that! Hurry and finish this, you morons!"

Mario nodded. "On it. Everybody, just-a bit more!"

His fellow Smashers nodded. Despite the odd and dangerous incident bringing terror to many, it had only been around three minutes after midnight struck. While the damage was great, it was extremely short- and he was glad it wasn't that big of an incident. Marth and Samus both prepared for their strongest blows, charging their attacks.

"This should end it!" With their synchronized shouts, each performed their Special attack and struck the final blows that would cause Mr. Game & Watch's shadowy body to disperse, him reverting to his lovable beeping form. All traces of the octopus had vanished into thin air, only the destruction of that area of the mansion showing that something had happened there.

An echoed beep eventually became inaudible to everyone's ears, allowing them to sigh and relax from the anticlimactic battle they just had.

"What's going on here?" Master Hand's voice boomed, and he made his way floating towards the scene of destruction. The others saw the encased Nightmare and both Ashley and Pac-Man following their habitat's leader. "Mr. Game & Watch has... been calmed down?"

"Master Hand," Samus called, "everything's under control now. He went on a slight rampage for unknown reasons, but we managed to subdue him."

Marth nodded. "With Crazy Hand's assistance in holding him down for few seconds, we managed to hack at his stamina until he reverted back to normal."

The giant hand of creation nodded and turned to Nightmare, trapped within his magical cage. "You have time to explain yourself right now, Nightmare."

"So it was you, huh?" Bowser scoffed, stretching his arms. "Villainy's cool and all, but put my son here in danger and-"

"Bowser."

"S-sorry." Sighing, the Koopa King petted Bowser Junior's head with content, glad that he was safe.

The villain in shades, however, smirked. "You may fire me from this tournament farce, you may crush me here, you may-"

Master Hand pointed at the villain, silencing him. "All I ask for are answers, Nightmare. Do not make this hard."

Rather than being annoyed, he seemed to grin wider. It seemed apparent that answers were not going to be given.

Ike, walking up to them, shook his head. "Hey, big guy refuses to answer... I think it's clear what to do now."

"Let's not resort to-" The right hand was interrupted by the sound of rubble crumbling. They turned around and saw Wario climbing out the heaps of concrete. "Wario, you are okay! I am relieved."

The garlic-obsessed man, however, stared at them with no hints of foul mischief. "...that's-a enough," he finally said.

"Excuse me?"

The man, in his yellow-purple overalls, pointed to himself. "I... I'm the mastermind, Master-a Hand."

"Wario...?" Ashley hissed with hostility forming from her glare. It did not affect him at all.

Silent and unmoving, the hand remained stoic. "...I'll be seeking answers from the _both_ of you, then."

Wario alone nodded, Nightmare keeping up his grin. "Yes-a sir," the garlic hero replied.


End file.
